Year of the Dragon
Growing up in Singapore as I did, Lunar New Year was a mildly irritating affair. Christmas music bled into two months of ceaseless of Chinese New Year music. Other than the dong dong chiang that hurt my ears, the lyrics seemed to always be only about one thing: money.
I was not a fan.
New year visits often resembled this song. What are you doing? How much money are you making? When are you having babies?
After many years away from 'home', I now feel like I'm at a safe-enough distance to attempt to make meaning of this, all on my own. I can throw out the things I don't like—like the music, and irritating questions—and replace it with the things that matter.
Here in San Francisco, our little family is just the two of us: a queer, multi-national unit made of of two people and two senior pets. Together, we have lived in more cities, separately and also together, than I can sometimes name. Individually, we are probably also allergic to any displays of ethnic pride in our own cultures. This far from 'home', we don't need to stick with any traditions. We can simply make it up.
I'm keeping the things that I like, and making up the rest.
Here's what I'm going to do.
- In Singapore, a married person is supposed to give money in red packets to younger people in your family. They've never quite figured out what to do about queer married people in Singapore. So I've decided: I won't give out red packets at all in Singapore, but I will give red packets to immigrant children in my community.
- The part about Lunar New Year I liked best was the food. In particular, how my grandparents got together to make sure things happened in the right order. A chicken, a duck, a fish. I'm keeping that, and I'm going to make up the rest. Hotpot? Sure. I'm going to have a soy sauce chicken, a roast duck, and a steamed fish, just like my grandparents did.
- Staying up late on Lunar new year eve: this was my favorite part. As a child, this was the night where I was able to stay up super late. We were told that the later you stay up, the longer your parents will live. I'm afraid I don't often have the ability to stay up past midnight anymore, but I am going to try. For filial piety!
- Reunion dinner: we're too small a group to have a reunion dinner here, but we've been lucky to have been invited to the homes of our older gay friends who often host one. Having reunion dinner with people who have invited us to their homes, and helped us out in many ways in our immigrant journey, feels like as much family as we'll ever have here.
- I'll prepare sashimi at home: when I first got to San Francisco, I was surprised to know that the local Chinese (Toishanese) people don't do this Singapore / Malaysian Chinese new year tradition. We have a tradition of doing 'lo hei', an activity that requires a large table of folks. People do this with family, friends or coworkers. There's a salad involved: with raw fish, and a bunch of fruit and vegetables. You're supposed to use a pair of chopsticks and lift the food as far as you can, all while shouting 'words of prosperity'. I think I'll stick to just the sashimi, no salad, and no shouting.
If you're interested in doing any of this in San Francisco:
- Damansara, the Malaysian restaurant, is offering 'lo-hei' this year (to-go boxes, as well as dine-in; vegan option available)
- Experience a traditional Lunar New Year restaurant banquet at either Harborview (menu here, PDF) or at R&G (menu here, PDF). Best to have a table of 4 or 5, none of this food is for one or two people
- Learn to make kosher vegetarian dumpling making class hosted by some folks in the Bay Area Asian Jewish community
- Watch Chinese American senior women perform a dance that brings to life the legacy of San Francisco Chinatown's golden nightclub era
- Check out the Chinese New Year festival and parade, or take part in the Chinatown YMCA run
- Go to the Symphony on Lunar New Year eve
- Celebrate Black history month and Lunar New Year together, at the public library and at Bayview YMCA
- Take part in festivities in Outer Richmond or in the Excelsior
- Order Lunar New Year chocolate boxes from Formosa Chocolates
- Other Lunar New Year ideas at SF Eater, Marin Independent Journal, Oakland Chinatown bazaar (which will also feature art and food from Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese and other cultures that celebrate Lunar New Year) .
What's everyone else doing for the Lunar New Year? Let me know in the replies, or say hi to me on Mastodon!