apology as architecture
read in browser Hi friend, I’ve been studying apology lately — what it demands of us, what it makes possible, what happens when it trips along the...
before you plan, repair.
read in browser Hi friend, I’m going to do something I don’t often do in this newsletter and just say it plainly: If you’ve been considering bringing me in...
new blueprints for old tables
read in browser Hi friend, We’ve been in the middle of a little series on conflict for the last few weeks — what happens in our brains; what a “regulated”...
how to tell the difference: a practice of discernment
read in browser Hi friend, I talk with executive directors — some of the most brilliant, strategic, and talented women of color I’ve ever met — on a...
the stories we inherit, the power we choose
read in browser Hi friend — from a jubilant Mamdanistan. If you’re anything like me, you spent Tuesday night glued to the election night results — and...
anger ≠ “dysregulated”
read in browser Hi friend, Last week, we talked about the body’s biological response to conflict — how our nervous systems hear disagreement and react as...
inside the neurobiology of conflict
read in browser hi friend, When I was nineteen years old, I held a brain in my hands for the first time. A human brain, once home to a wild electric energy —...
bone broth and bureaucratic grief
read in browser Hi Reader, Yesterday I spent a full day cooking soup. Today I’m lying on my couch with a fever, remembering pandemic war rooms. I got my...
attending to what’s tender
read in browser hi Reader, Welcome back to the intimate practice newsletter. If you’re new here — hi. I’m Shivani, a conflict midwife and transition...
where do we owe amends?
read in browser Every night for the past year, just before falling asleep, I open a tiny notebook that lives on my nightstand and ask myself: “Where do I...
a midsummer check-in?
a midsummer check-in read in browser Hi Reader, Happy August! I'm back at my desk after a week in Croatia — 19 (!) of us cousins, nieces, and nephews piled...
most conflicts aren’t unsolvable — just under-resourced
most conflicts aren’t unsolvable it’s a design question Hi Reader, In this month’s Conflict Clinic, someone asked me: “What do we do with the conflicts that...
nine rules for conflict that doesn’t destroy us
nine rules for conflict that doesn’t destroy us how to redesign from the rupture Hi Reader, In the wake of devastation – a fracturing coalition, a...
if we practiced conflict, would we still choose war?
if we practiced conflict, would we still choose war? Last week’s inaugural Conflict Clinic was a dream and a delight. Together, we shaped a space that felt...
from shame to integrity (and everything in between)
from shame to integrity (and everything in between) read in browser | forwarded? subscribe here. Hi Reader, Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means...
the conflict prism
the conflict prism If you’re a federal worker terrified to open your email inbox each day, a nonprofit exec wondering how to stand up a diverse funding...
what if conflict were simple?
less fear, more ease In the moment, we know exactly what it feels like. The cold trickle in our brain splits our psyche like oil and vinegar. That heavy...
this moment
this moment a few steps to take New York, 2024 I am a sex educator turned abortion doula turned public health professional turned DEI facilitator. Every...
easing in
easing in the sacred mundane Voss, December 2024 Good morning and happy New Year from a steel grey snow drift morning in Norway. I spent the last few days of...
nearly everything I know about love
nearly everything i know about love intimate practice, 16 december 2024 Maine, 2024 hi dear reader, A few months ago, I found myself weeping on a couch in...