Good morning good morning it’s Rick Webb coming at you live from rural North Carolina asking the important question today: why, after several years of every computer I owning having a fingerprint sensor, do I still insist on typing my password in every morning. It’s faster isn’t it? It’s faster. I am sure of it.

Readers from Maine inform me of a few things:

They do, in fact, have beaches in Maine.

They do not have a signature cocktail but they have something called Allen’s Coffee Brandy, though Wikipedia tells me it is actually made in Mass.

So be thankful I am anti-GPTs or I would put some AI-generated image of Janet Mills on a beach drinking Allen’s Coffee Brandy in this edition right here.

I am also told that Shenna Bellows would be a great candidate. The Troy Jackson fellow everyone likes is not great — threw a water bottle at a woman once, like WTF. So, thanks to my friend, I am going to now stan for Shenna Bellows. Let’s Google Kagi her. Yeah she seems just fine.

Shenna Bellows!

I got a haircut this morning. Downloaded the Great Clips app like I’m a senior citizen (who downloads apps anymore) and checked myself in and some nice woman named Fran gave me a neck hair cut. She has been at Great Clips for fifteen years. She did a great job on my neck, but like all hair stylists couldn’t resist cleaning up the parts of my hair I like looking messy and vaguely insane. Luckily my hair conspires against such people and grows at vastly different rates. I will look like a mad scientist once again before we head to Boston.

I give Fran a B for salon conversation. She asked questions and did not talk too much about her kids. Or, really, anything in her life. I like it when they are a bit mysterious. She assumed — everyone here assumes — I just moved here, and once I convinced her otherwise she turned to every local’s favorite topic — how much things are growing. She did not seem to approve when I said I didn’t mind growth. I lied. I do mind growth. But not around here. I am fine with Chatham County growing. Some trolly ex friend (not the same one as the gaza argument) told me I would be sad if my town got overrun with immigrants and I told him I would be fine if every single immigrant in America moved to my county. He looked absolutely terrified and appalled. But it’s true. I’m a real estate baron now, man. I’d make bank. Bring em on.

Do I kid? I don’t think so? Who knows.

There was a car at the grocery store that had four bumper stickers that said THIS VEHICLE DOES NOT TURN RIGHT ON RED. It was just a normal car not, like, a school vehicle or something. What’s up with that? Are there people scared of taking rights on red? Morally opposed to them? Imagine if such vital questions occupied the minds of our leaders instead of how to bomb another country.

Important news commentary from America’s last political commentator still standing:

Sure the dude is ostensibly a frail dandy who reviews fast food, but if you look at the comments, my god, the man speaks to everyone about everything.

Although someone needs to tell Report Of the Week about Count Binface, the comedian that is standing against Farrage — the leader of England’s knob party. Because no actual parties deigned to join him in his stupid-ass Trumpian farce, ill-designed to help him avoid the accusations of corruption. Count Binface rules. He is, I am learning at this moment from a Slack I am in, not only a comedian but a classical scholar who made a radio series for the BBC on the Athenian Democracy. It’s only been a couple days and Binface’s campaign — by far not the first comedian campaign in England or even Binface’s first — has already made the news in America. I feel like there is a non-zero change Binface might beat Farrage. I am fairly invested in this.

Semi-relatedly, I learned from the novella I just finished — This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone — that “Albion” is another word for the isle of England. This is of interest to me as our apartment in Boston is on Albion. Wait is that TMI? Our street name? Man I gotta turn off the web archive of GMHHAY. Make a note. I want some sort of functionality where it only keeps issues of GMHHAY public for, like, a week, then archives them to members only.

The novel was pretty good, actually. Beautiful wordplay, to the point of the mechanics of the plot being somewhat obfuscated but that was fine, you got the gist. Unabashed use of ultra-obscure allusions without explanation of their roots. I deeply appreciate that. That is also my jam. See? I just did it.

Join the GMHHAY slack! Reply to this email and ask for an invite if you’re a human who likes chatting with other humans about topics such as these within!

Listening to the new Olivia Rodrigo right now. I mean, thanks to my wife and daughter I have listened to this album a hundred times already but I have fast rules that every album in the “To Investigate” playlist gets two listens at the desk while working. So we are on desk listen two. Listening to “Purple” right now, which has grown on me significantly.

I think at the moment Emma and I are leaning away from going to Daisy Chain Fields. We’d have to make our trip to LA so short, and Irvine isn’t even LA, and when we finally do make it to LA with Jane we need to stay a week at least just to see all the friends even briefly. Plus George Lucas’ Museum of Narrative Art isn’t opening till September 22 (supposedly) and I very very much want to go. That place looks amazing. Very proud of George. Chicago was so dumb not to take it. SF too. But, then, LA is a great place for it and that weird park is a great place and now you can see a Space Shuttle and an X-Wing at the same park and that’s rad.

I am going out on a limb that there will be an X-Wing at George’s museum. But maybe not! It looks very topically sprawling.

Took a look at who’s left in the World Cup and I guess I’m supporting Norway from here on out? I like socialism, plus I met Malcolm McLaren there and had a very weird night drinking with him and my college girlfriend, who was randomly working at the hotel at which Malcolm and I were staying. Malcolm had assumed I had hired a prostitute, and the look on his drunken face as he realized that no, in fact, this was my long-lost girlfriend whom I thought was dead and we just randomly ran into each other was priceless. He really appreciated that. RIP.

Now come on is that really a more interesting story than the Great Clips story?

Nah.

Anyway go Norway. Here’s a cool picture of a viking boat at the Saga Museum in Norway from 2007. Back when I used to not worry about the ethics of air travel and I was normal.

Read an article about a new large study of Omega 3 supplements and it was depressing. They mostly don’t work it says. But no one knows why. They should work but they don’t. There are several theories:

1) They work but the studies are too short and it takes decades. Which is possible. Which means I should keep taking them even though they might not work.

2) The body already makes enough of the good stuff made by Omega 3s, and they don’t help. We get enough from other sources (like nuts). In which case I’m fine, and continuing the supplements is maybe useless but fine.

3) How you metabolize Omega-3 matters, in which case I am screwed. I need to eat more fish.

My statins keep my bad cholesterol in check but I have had low good cholesterol for decades. Thus I need to eat more fish and fermented foods. But I mostly do not like fish or fermented foods. I just looked at a list and the only fish I like that has a decent amount of Omega 3 in it is Bluefin, and then I’ll kill myself with mercury. Trout maybe. Sea Bass. I do not like salmon. PTSD from Alaska. I tried again when I was home last time, nice, fresh Alaskan salmon. NOPE.

Plus, like, we eat out all the time. I need some sort of easy quick way to eat trout or something. Trout jerkey. Fuck fuck. Fish snacks just seem gross. I have, of late, been keeping some chicken breasts in the fridge. Could I do something similar? Ew ew ew.

Ditto for fermented foods. I do not like natto, it is a pain to obtain. I do not like Kimchi. Do they make fermented sweet pickles? That might work for me. I could probably do shots of Apple Cider Vinegar woudl that work?

HELP ME GMHHAY YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE.

Thank you for all your kind words about my parenting. Jane was sweet this morning even voluntarily brushed her teeth that was nice. I taught her about the big rock finish in Jacque Lu Cont’s Thin White Duke remix of Mr. Brightside, that her mommy and daddy used to dance to all the time, and she loved it and we had a big freakout dance party in the car before camp. She was not terrible to mommy at bedtime. She was pleasant at dinner.

Maybe I just need to mentally freak out a bit and then she gets better.

Country playlist for you today. All new I think? Whoops, no. One Tarnation track. Man I loved Tarnation, one of 4AD’s vastly underrated signings I hope that album gets a vinyl release someday. 4AD has been pretty good about the reissues. Love this Mon Rovîa fellow he is just grateful. Love the new Lampchop. Don’t love the new Kacey but I remain a supporter. Don’t remember a lot of these it’s been a while will have to re-listen. Margo, of course, rules.

Okay well talk to you all tomorrow have a lovely day and maybe consider getting a hair cut.