i'm so charming,
last night i dreamt an eagle swept down and tapped my head and landed on my shoulder, looked closely in my eyes, and flew straight back up to the sky, circling above me while i watched. the eagle flew up to the sun and i kept staring, until the sun blinded me and i woke up suddenly.
it’s one week until the first part of our debut project I’m so charming, I forgot who I was is released. as i prepare emotionally and professionally for this i’m trying to connect with myself and the world that shapes me and my world that shapes the me and the us and the world in the record. i find myself facing an underworld Industry of Music, facing Ceberus boldly but also blankly. i find that I’m so charming, I forgot who I was still all the time but differently and as I send my 103rd invitation to this EP release show (Friday April 18th at the Sultan Room, music at 7:30 with Rat Palace and this! HOLY rodeo) i must wonder if it will ever be enough.
i’m very proud of this record and of my band and of myself. i think it is hard to communicate pride in a way that is culturally acceptable in 2025 because it obliterates the humility demanded by the so-called authenticity demanded by the digital world or whatever. but i am proud.
i am also scared. i am also embarrassed to even be trying.
i am also trying to reconnect with myself and the world despite it all and i think that is the eagle and i think that there is something worth following, if not here, then maybe there. i know what i want and who i want to be this time. i hope to do that with all of you next friday. <3