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Okay wow, yes, THANK YOU for sharing the details of your situation with us, along with the honesty of your feelings/questions/thought process. That's the thing within these systems: there is no "perfect" answer, and we're all just trying to take care of ourselves and each other however we can, right?

So I just want to say that I'm here to witness this situation alongside you, especially the hardships it involves, and to reassure you of the validity of a less "sensible" decision. Just because something doesn't follow the playbook of the majority doesn't make it less valid!