It's an ongoing conversation between us for sure! Our current setup (which we've had since we moved in together and which works very well for us) is to keep totally separate bank accounts, savings, and credit cards (and to pay for our individual spending on our own), but then to also have a joint credit card for shared expenses which I pay off each month and then Venmo request his half from him.
Our core shared expenses are pretty clear right now: groceries, vet care and food for the dogs, household things (toilet paper, dish soap, lightbulbs, etc) and any sort of date we go on together (a coffee shop outing for example, since we hardly ever eat meals out or do paid entertainment - we are homebodies at heart). Those are the agreed upon categories that we both always put on the joint card without any kind of conversation.
Then there are the shared-use things that I pay for 100%, which right now is our utilities. My partner currently isn't working a wage-earning job and so I pay for our water, gas, trash, internet, and Netflix (no electric bill because we have solar), whereas he does a bigger share of the household tasks (like daily dog walks, tending the chickens, and taking the lead on all the various projects involved in having such an old house). This feels equitable for us, and we check in about it every few months to make sure that's still the case.
Then there are the shared-use things that he pays for 100%, which is anything big or structural for the house itself. This is because his dad owns the house and it will always stay in his family, so while I don't pay rent to live here (a huge savings!) I also won't ever have equity in the house, so it doesn't feel correct to either of us for me to pay for things like roofing materials or any other project that he and his dad want to do on the property.
For everything else we just have a quick convo about it if necessary, and luckily we have thus far been totally aligned on what feels fair.
(Not sure how useful any of this is since every person/couple is so unique, but if you have any specific questions feel free to ask!)
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It's an ongoing conversation between us for sure! Our current setup (which we've had since we moved in together and which works very well for us) is to keep totally separate bank accounts, savings, and credit cards (and to pay for our individual spending on our own), but then to also have a joint credit card for shared expenses which I pay off each month and then Venmo request his half from him.
Our core shared expenses are pretty clear right now: groceries, vet care and food for the dogs, household things (toilet paper, dish soap, lightbulbs, etc) and any sort of date we go on together (a coffee shop outing for example, since we hardly ever eat meals out or do paid entertainment - we are homebodies at heart). Those are the agreed upon categories that we both always put on the joint card without any kind of conversation.
Then there are the shared-use things that I pay for 100%, which right now is our utilities. My partner currently isn't working a wage-earning job and so I pay for our water, gas, trash, internet, and Netflix (no electric bill because we have solar), whereas he does a bigger share of the household tasks (like daily dog walks, tending the chickens, and taking the lead on all the various projects involved in having such an old house). This feels equitable for us, and we check in about it every few months to make sure that's still the case.
Then there are the shared-use things that he pays for 100%, which is anything big or structural for the house itself. This is because his dad owns the house and it will always stay in his family, so while I don't pay rent to live here (a huge savings!) I also won't ever have equity in the house, so it doesn't feel correct to either of us for me to pay for things like roofing materials or any other project that he and his dad want to do on the property.
For everything else we just have a quick convo about it if necessary, and luckily we have thus far been totally aligned on what feels fair.
(Not sure how useful any of this is since every person/couple is so unique, but if you have any specific questions feel free to ask!)