Notes on Refusal, Repair, and Reconnection*
i haven’t been able to collect the words, and so this edition of new terms and conditions is an accumulation of thoughts over the last couple of weeks. in preparation for the new year i had already planned to start here. i wanted to take the time to reflect on the glue that binds the abc glossary together: refusal, repair, and reconnection.
i don’t have the words that i thought i would have by now — they’ve been absorbed by the experience of infinite layers of grief. and yet, i’m also encouraged by how much this particular moment we’re in demands for us to collectively sit with and define those very words. what does it mean to refuse our current capitalistic system? to repair as an act of defiance and healing? to reconnect to each other and nature in ways that reveal the possibilities of new worlds?
our grief also includes a world that we once knew, even when it didn’t suit our needs. but as we sift through the rubble, what do we need to discard, what are we choosing to compost, and what do we need to sustain? i have been holding on tightly to the words of ruha benjamin when she wrote, “Remember to imagine and craft the worlds you cannot live without, just as you dismantle the ones your cannot live within“
I hope this letter can be a resource toward new imaginations.
Refusal
the current structure will not hold. it’s breaking, and now is our time create something anew. it is time to revisit the terms and conditions of our current systems that obscure their extraction of our data and our agency, and take our silence as agreement. my personal struggle with refusal teeters on how to refuse without withdrawing from community. i find myself wanting to walk away from it all — but that “solution” feeds into capitalism’s individualistic game and presumes i have no other choices.
when i started this newsletter i made a choice then, when it felt like the only platform option was substack. selecting buttondown, the platform that has been home to new terms & conditions for over a year, was a refusal of the monetization of harm supported by substack. for me, it meant learning a new platform that at first didn’t seem as intuitive or as shiny as the former. however, i’ve since been grateful to this platform that prioritizes human interaction over profit to align with my values.
i don’t proclaim to be any sort of expert but what i am committing to is learning and unsettling. this year i want to better protect myself and my communities as technological imperialism — the increased control of our markets, our platforms, and our resources by tech giants (oligarchs) — grows as a danger to us. our technologies and our politics are no longer distinct from one another.
Data Detox Kit
The Data Detox Kit: everyday steps you can take to control your digital privacy, security, and wellbeing in ways that feel right to you.
Repair
i have no desire to “fix” our current infrastructure — i only want to repair the bonds that have been severed by it. i believe in repair as a way of remembering ancestral and communal relationships and intelligence. to remember is an act of rebellion. it requires accountability, practice, and intent, which are all counter in a society designed to “click-to-buy,” “unbox,” and “upgrade.”
what does accountability to each other look like in this moment? what are technologies of care we can practice? how do we hold care in ways that are restorative and sustainable? what can be mended?
Reconnection
i want to be tethered, hard wired to the land beneath my feet and to the people around me as part of an indestructible network, regardless of platform. when we (re)member, we (re)attach ourselves to the practices that have long sustained our communities and our environments.
© 2025 New Terms & Conditions