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This week’s question comes to us from Ben Bartosik:

What are your top ten favorite movies?

Oh hey, a fun question designed to get all my readers to argue. I love these.

Before we start, let me say that if you asked me this question yesterday, you would’ve gotten a totally different list than you’re getting today. Same thing if you ask me tomorrow. I mean, the whole point of questions like this is to start a spirited conversation wherein we all realize that we all love movies, and maybe we should just put one on.

Also, let me just state up front that I am going to be fairly free and lose with the definition of “movie” if for no other reason than to sneak in more movies. Because I love movies. I also don’t apologize for the movies I enjoy, because that is as stupid as using a list of movies as a way to impress people. My taste is more trash fire than arthouse.

As a criteria for putting this list together I went with a scenario where a friend was asking if I wanted to go see this movie tonight. These are the movies I would say “Yes!” to without hesitation:

House, directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi (1977)— a psychedelic crazy-as-fuck Japanese horror movie which you should definitely take an edible for. (If you don’t like horror movies, this isn’t that kind of horror movie. You can handle it. Especially if you’re high as fuck.) Tangentially it’s the story of a schoolgirl taking six of her friends to her aunt’s house in the country, only to find out it’s haunted. But the plot is kind of inconsequential to the movie. You don’t watch it, as much as you let it wash over you. (Thus the edible.) It’s also a masterpiece of practical effects, which—as a kid raised on Ray Harryhausen—will always be close to my heart. Marvel could never. There’s a piano scene that will rewire your DNA. Everyone’s favorite story about this movie is that Toho, the same movie studio responsible for Godzilla (they’ll come up again) approached Nobuhiko Obayashi and offered him suitcases of money to make “a Jaws-like movie,” which was the rage at the time. He took their money and made this instead. Always take the money. Always do what you want to with it. Caveat: this will be your most annoying cinephile friend’s favorite movie. This time—and this time only—your friend will be correct.

Star Wars, directed by George Lucas (1977)—Yes, it’s a fucking obvious choice, but it’s an obvious choice for a damn good reason. It’s a great movie. At this point it’s not worth going over the plot because you know it, so I’ll tell a story instead: for some reason that is lost to time, or that I’ve subconsciously buried for mental health reasons, my brothers and I weren’t allowed to go see this when it came out. Not because my father was religious, or had objections to the subject matter; he was just being petty. So while all my friends had seen it multiple times, knew lines by heart, and play-acted different scenes in the school yard; I had to piece everything together with trading cards, magazine clippings, and toy commercials. (This was before cable and VCRs, dog!) The first time I saw Star Wars was when it aired on network television. At a 4:3 aspect ratio and interspersed with ads for Taster’s Choice, Sandals Resorts, and Thom McAn. Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. A year later I got to see Empire on the big screen and it changed everything. Your annoying friend will tell you Empire is the better movie. When I said they would be right once and only once I meant it.

Jaws, directed by Steven Spielberg (1977)—Look, man, you asked me about my favorite movies, not about underappreciated gems. Jaws is a perfect movie. If I’m scanning the little streaming rectangles and I see Jaws I am clicking. And as much as I insist on watching a movie from beginning to end, I can meander into Jaws at any time, remember every detail that came before, and still pick up something new in the rewatching.

Fuck, 1977 was a great year for movies.

The Fifth Element, directed by Luc Besson (1997)—I dare you to find a more erotic moment in the history of cinema than Milla Jovovich saying “MULTIPASS!”

Godzilla, directed by Ishirō Honda (1954) (but really all of them)—(Ok, almost all of them. The American one with Matthew Broderick was really, really bad. Really bad. We don’t count it.) In our house, Godzilla isn’t a movie as much as a lifestyle. The original is, of course, a classic. Cinematography. Post-war allegory. Action. Stunning. But the mid-Toho movies also provide B-movie thrills, bad stunt laughs, smashy smash, and Mechagodzilla. After things got a little too silly, Toho rebooted the franchise during The Heisei Era (Godzilla vs Biollante is a great watch) to put together another quality run. The American Monarch movies are fine (the TV show sucks), and both Shin Godzilla and Godzilla Minus One are fantastic. So excited for Godzilla Minus Zero.

Do the Right Thing, Spike Lee (1989)—This is the Letter from a Birmingham Jail of movies. Old white liberals are still arguing about Sal’s fucking plate glass window. RIP Radio Raheem.

Anything by John Waters, but especially Female Trouble (1974), which is a Christmas movie—I better get them cha cha heels! In 1974 I was enduring second grade in a Philadelphia Catholic school, and already the good Sisters were getting the sense that “this boy ain‘t right.” Meanwhile, a couple of hours South on I-95 in Baltimore, John Waters was blocking the Christmas morning cha cha heels scene with Divine as Dawn Davenport. I wouldn’t discover his work until high school, at which point it became a guiding light to always honor the weird and the stupid parts of yourself. RIP Divine.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, directed by Ana Lily Amirpour (2014)—Do you know how hard it is to do something new and unexpected in the vampire genre? Or is it a western? Or is it a gangster film? Exactly. I thoroughly enjoy never knowing what to expect in this movie. It’s beautifully filmed in black and white. It’s slow paced, until it’s suddenly not.

Blue Velvet, David Lynch (1986)—This could’ve easily been another “anything by” category because I love everything by David Lynch. (Inland Empire is tough to love, but I do love it.) Here’s my Blue Velvet story, of which I am not proud: My friend Marty and I went to see it at a little art house theater in downtown Philly when it first came out. And because we were idiots, we decided to drop acid beforehand. This is a terrible movie to watch on acid. We were justifiably kicked out of the theater about halfway(?) through the movie. I don’t remember what we did after the movie. I’m sure it was stupid. RIP Marty.

Anything by Hayao Miyazaki, but especially Princess Mononoke (1997)—A few weeks ago we went through a rainy patch where I just sat on the couch watching Studio Ghibli movies. Princess Mononoke, Howl’s Moving Castle, Totoro, Porco Rosso, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Spirited Away. They’re all worth your time. They’re all worth a blanket. They’re all made even better by the sound of raindrops outside. Every one of those movies is a testament to the human spirit, to the power of storytelling, and the celebration of human craft.

There you go. That’s my list for today. Again, ask me tomorrow and you might get a totally different list. This was a fun question.

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