How to fight
This week’s question comes to us from Alan McCoy:
Do you feel it's better to fight with all of your being for a single cause or spread your energy to support several causes?
Yes.
I mean, yes, we will fight with all our being for a single cause. And, yes, we will also spread our energy to support several causes. Is one better than the other? I don’t know, and quite frankly I don’t care.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in several situations with other people debating “the better way” to fight. To the point where the argument feels like the goal. We debate, we drag our feet, we decide nothing, and eventually we walk away feeling like we’ve done something. And perhaps we have, if we count assuaging your guilt/fear/panic as an accomplishment. Perhaps we should, and for some people that needs to be enough.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in situations with Bay Area liberals bemoaning the death of American democracy, while also gloating about their stock portfolio doing very well as a result. And while those people might be good for the occasional phone call to their senator, I don’t think we’ll be able to count on them for much else. We fight according to how much we’ve lost, and all they’ve lost is an election.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with parents who are concerned about their children who need special care losing access to that care. Their fight is geared towards going somewhere where their children can get that care. That’s the right fight for them.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with trans folks working on ways to stockpile the medication they need to be themselves. And that’s the right fight for them to focus on.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with people gearing up for local elections. They see a sliver of hope somewhere in the future, at least at the local level, and they’re gonna fight for that. I’ll be joining that particular fight.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with people who are trying to understand how their own families voted against their safety. They’ve decided to fight their families. I’ll be staying out of that one. I’ve marked my own family as lost.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with people debating the best inflatable mattresses to buy in case their house becomes a refuge. That seems like a good thing to do.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with people planning the next protest. I’ll help out there.
Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself in conversations with people willing to write checks for organizations who need it. Great, I can also do this.
Over the last few weeks I’ve also seen people riding bikes, walking their dogs, playing with their kids in the park, making art, and just living their lives, taking care of one another, and finding moments of joy. And yes, this is also a way to fight. Moments like this is what we’re fighting for.
We will fight in a million different ways. Some of them will fail. Some of them will work. Some of them will feel like they’re working (or failing) and turn out to be the other one. We should repeat the things that work, until they stop working, which they eventually will.
We should also fight with all the energy we can muster, while also realizing that our energy will fluctuate daily, and even throughout the day. We should also be graceful and kind to those who may not be in the same circumstances as we are. For some people, just existing is enough of a fight. Their whole life is a protest march, and we should recognize, respect, and honor that.
Fighting includes going to your corner every once in a while to get tended to. If you find yourself in a conversation that you don’t have the energy for, tap out. Drink water. Get a band-aid.
If you find yourself in a conversation with people making molotovs, and you’d rather be writing letters to your senators, instead of arguing them out of making molotovs, I’d encourage you to leave them be. Don’t kill the vibe. Find the folks having the conversation about writing letters to senators. Find your fighting group. They’re out there.
And if someone asks you where the molotov makers are meeting? You don’t know.
🖐️ Got a question? Ask it. I might answer it.
📕 I made a really stupid edition of Design Is a Job meant to look like an old cheap paperback. The paper sucks, and it’s hard to read. I really love it. Get one. It’s a good time to make stupid things.
📺 I’m really enjoying (well maybe not enjoying) Say Nothing. It’s based on the book by Patrick Radden Keefe, which is worth your time.
🏳️⚧️ One way to fight is to give Trans Lifeline a LOT OF MONEY.
🍉 …another way to fight is to give the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund THE REST OF YOUR MONEY.
❤️ …and look, there’s a LOT going on. If you need help, there’s folks to talk to.
I love you. Don’t give up.