It's true in so many walks of our life that the way we treat others, judge them, or evaluate their success is quite different from the way we apply those ideas to ourselves.
You also used the phrase "achieved the success that I have repeatedly fought for". What if we looked at success not as a definitive achievement but as a flow of actions over our entire project? Would we then feel satisfied with the actions we took and the choices we made (not knowing the future, of course)? To put it differently: If our expected success had happened, would we then look back* at all those choices and actions of ours as objectively better?
As we know "achieving success" at a point in time requires a share of luck (in addition to our efforts). This luck factor is obviously beyond our control. But the effort we put in -- our process and work-ethic -- is entirely under our control. So it makes sense to only hold ourselves accountable to what we can control.
There's also this phrase: "less forgiving of my own failures." What if failure was defined as not giving our best effort to the actions we have committed to rather than whether the end result meets our set expectations?
And, lastly, about "criticism": Being critical of what we perceive as our failures is great. Its an opportunity to deeply learn from what didn't work out to our expectations. When this learning happens from our projects' results, then how could we call it a failure? After all, those lessons are what help us gain the wisdom to do our work better than we ever did.
Great reflection, Artie. Thank you.
It's true in so many walks of our life that the way we treat others, judge them, or evaluate their success is quite different from the way we apply those ideas to ourselves.
You also used the phrase "achieved the success that I have repeatedly fought for". What if we looked at success not as a definitive achievement but as a flow of actions over our entire project? Would we then feel satisfied with the actions we took and the choices we made (not knowing the future, of course)? To put it differently: If our expected success had happened, would we then look back* at all those choices and actions of ours as objectively better?
As we know "achieving success" at a point in time requires a share of luck (in addition to our efforts). This luck factor is obviously beyond our control. But the effort we put in -- our process and work-ethic -- is entirely under our control. So it makes sense to only hold ourselves accountable to what we can control.
There's also this phrase: "less forgiving of my own failures." What if failure was defined as not giving our best effort to the actions we have committed to rather than whether the end result meets our set expectations?
And, lastly, about "criticism": Being critical of what we perceive as our failures is great. Its an opportunity to deeply learn from what didn't work out to our expectations. When this learning happens from our projects' results, then how could we call it a failure? After all, those lessons are what help us gain the wisdom to do our work better than we ever did.