Thank you for this fantastic question and for sharing your own insights.
Your point about asking people to "define their terms" is fabulous. It's one of the most effective ways to bring clarity to a discussion, and a perfect example of what a "stronger question" can look like because it seeks to understand, not just to get a simple answer.
You also mentioned a very real and common feeling: the fear that our questions might seem insignificant or forced. I think that often comes from a pressure to sound "smart," when in reality, the most effective questions usually come from a place of genuine curiosity.
When you mentioned seeking ways to develop a "stronger question," it brought up a few perspectives worth exploring. I wonder if it’s less about a specific formula and more about the kind of door we want to open?
For instance, building on your idea of seeking clarity:
Exploring "How" or "Why": A question about "what" often has a factual answer and not much more. A question about "how" something works or "why" a decision was made can invite more of a story or a thought process.
Asking About Assumptions: This is another way to seek deeper understanding, much like defining terms. A question like, "What are the key assumptions we're making here?" can feel very collaborative because it invites everyone to look at the foundation of an idea together.
Using Invitational Phrasing: Sometimes, how we frame the question matters. Starting with "I'm curious about..." or "Help me understand..." can turn a direct question into a shared exploration, which might feel more natural and less "forced."
Ultimately, I think you're already on the right track by focusing on clarity. When we are genuinely trying to understand, as your "define their terms" example shows, our questions tend to feel authentic because they are.
These are just some thoughts prompted by your great question. Starting small, with people you trust, is often a good way to experiment with these things.
If you are interested in exploring Questions further, I can wholeheartedly recommend the Right Question Institute
Thank you for this fantastic question and for sharing your own insights.
Your point about asking people to "define their terms" is fabulous. It's one of the most effective ways to bring clarity to a discussion, and a perfect example of what a "stronger question" can look like because it seeks to understand, not just to get a simple answer.
You also mentioned a very real and common feeling: the fear that our questions might seem insignificant or forced. I think that often comes from a pressure to sound "smart," when in reality, the most effective questions usually come from a place of genuine curiosity.
When you mentioned seeking ways to develop a "stronger question," it brought up a few perspectives worth exploring. I wonder if it’s less about a specific formula and more about the kind of door we want to open?
For instance, building on your idea of seeking clarity:
Exploring "How" or "Why": A question about "what" often has a factual answer and not much more. A question about "how" something works or "why" a decision was made can invite more of a story or a thought process.
Asking About Assumptions: This is another way to seek deeper understanding, much like defining terms. A question like, "What are the key assumptions we're making here?" can feel very collaborative because it invites everyone to look at the foundation of an idea together.
Using Invitational Phrasing: Sometimes, how we frame the question matters. Starting with "I'm curious about..." or "Help me understand..." can turn a direct question into a shared exploration, which might feel more natural and less "forced."
Ultimately, I think you're already on the right track by focusing on clarity. When we are genuinely trying to understand, as your "define their terms" example shows, our questions tend to feel authentic because they are.
These are just some thoughts prompted by your great question. Starting small, with people you trust, is often a good way to experiment with these things.
If you are interested in exploring Questions further, I can wholeheartedly recommend the Right Question Institute
Thanks again for such a thoughtful exchange.