Hit and Miss #292: Four weeks in Portugal, Belgium, America, and Canada
Some issues are links, others are reflections—this one’s a snapshot, of the last month. It’s been a long one, full in ways good and bad. I share it with you both for my own record, and because I sometimes find it helpful to read about arcs like these, to put my own into context. Maybe you do, too.
Four weeks ago, around this time, T, S, V, and I were on our way to the airport. The next week would bring us to Porto and Brussels. There are many happy moments from that week, but a few come to mind:
- Seeing flowers blooming in March (a welcome change from the snow that awaited us at home)
- Looking for the best pastel de nata in Porto (for once I wasn’t the one keeping the spreadsheet!)
- Hearing a club remix of Because the Night blasting from a beer tent in suburban Brussels (and then joining the party for a few moments!)
Two weeks ago, T and I were in Washington, DC. Some happy moments from that week:
- Taking a walk with Aaron and reflecting on our times at CDS / in government
- Enjoying cherry blossoms, other flowers, and loads of delicious coffee during a few low-key days of wandering
- Seeing Springsteen perform, with strength and stamina that I’d be very happy to have even half of at 73
One week ago, T and I were on our way back from Hamilton. While the circumstances for being there weren’t quite as happy—my Oma’s in the hospital, and the long-term outlook isn’t good—it had plenty happy moments of its own:
- Caring for Oma, and hearing her various stories (and her jubilation and consternation over the Jays’ first few games)
- Seeing T and Oma continuing to “just click”, as they have from the day they first spoke
- Reminiscing with my family over various stories and past times as we went through Oma’s apartment
We learned about Oma’s worsening condition while in Portugal, which put a different backdrop to all the weeks that followed. More emphasis on taking photos of flowers and spring growth, to share with Oma when we got home, honouring and celebrating her favourite pastime, gardening. A renewed appreciation for seizing the moments we can, while we can, while also making time to reflect and, at times, to grieve.
Preparations now are on helping Oma transition to a space in long-term care. It’s a difficult thing, in so many ways—
- dramatically downsizing her living space (and independence), and sorting through her possessions in the process (while she’s still alive, which is simultaneously an opportunity and a challenge)
- preparing a checklist / research guide for care facilities, astounding yourself with the most basic of questions you have to ask or investigate, while knowing you don’t really have much of a choice, all of it a grim reminder of the state of “care” in this country
- navigating difficult (to put it mildly) family relationships
—and all the while trying to maintain focus on the person at the heart of this all, while she’s still here to talk, visit, and share time with.
It’s exhausting and distressing—worth it, but no less hard for being so. We’re hanging in, but it’s taking its toll. Taking solace in the little green shoots I saw this morning in Major’s Hill, flowers preparing to push up despite the snow still blanketing some of the beds. “Meanwhile the world goes on”, as a good poet put it.
With that, it’s time to get a bit more sunshine in—I wish you a restful rest of your day, and all the best for the week ahead.
Lucas