Hello Friends,

Here's a new song. It's explicit, fyi! Plus, sound-wise, it's the simplest that I'll probably get all year. Just me and my acoustic guitar, singing in a room.

https://soundcloud.com/llydian/hosea-explicit

Hosea is one of the minor prophets, probably written between 720 - 760 BCE. In the Bible, the book of Hosea follows directly after Daniel (he of the lion's den fame).

The beginning of the word of the Lord by Hosea. And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord.

Thus, Hosea goes and marries a woman of ill-repute, who keeps leaving him for other men. Hosea is instructed to keep reconciling with her, despite her many infidelities, so as to illustrate the kindness and faithfulness of God towards the idolatrous Israelites.

It's a challenging text for modern audiences. The white, protestant, evangelical church that I was raised in certainly found it difficult to read literally, since they valued the sanctity of heterosexual marriage above almost all things. I believe that the literal reading was "Well, sometimes God asks you to do crazy things and you should just go with it," which certainly leaves something to be desired. The figurative reading, of course, was "God is sooooo kind, and soooooo forgiving, no matter what sin you commit, he'll always be there for you when you repent. You should do that to people who sin against you. Be like God." Since, at the time, I confused selflessness with being-walked-all-over, that was easy enough to swallow.

With a bit of distance, obviously, that's a bit of a problem. Once I started thinking about how bonkers the situation in the text is to a modern audience, the song really just poured out. After all, you don't have to pretend to be anything besides sad and angry. You don't have to continually forgive the people and systems that have wronged you. You can, indeed, just walk away.

Love to all, and I'll see you in two weeks,
xoxoxoxo Lauren

Lyrics:
I'm not gonna take you back.
Funny that you even asked.
You keep talking about mercy,
but I know how it works, see,
I know you'll jump right back to him.

And I know what my Bible says.
It says to forgive, forget.
"Take her back, O my son,
Be a witness for Love,
Be a prophet, a priest, and a cuck"

But I won't be a metaphor
and I won't be your saving grace
and maybe my heart's a stone
but I get to walk away
and I don't have to think of us
except as a fucking waste
a waste of my time and love
a waste of a promise made

So I'm not gonna take you back,
saying "Let's start from scratch."
Honey, I've been a cheater
and I've been cheated on
and I know which one I'd rather be.

So you won't see me on my knees
begging you to come home.
Because I have a speck,
a shred of self-respect,
I'll stay righteous, and right,
and alone.