Fantasy and Internal Retreat
Dear Friend,
Creativity doesn’t always arise from safety and ease. This week I have been thinking about artists whose singular fantasy worlds emerge seemingly complete from challenging circumstances.
It’s hard to think of an artist who gives more joy than Yayoi Kusama, but her unique vision comes out of severe difficulties. She has talked about being deprived of access to paints and canvases as a child and then developing hallucinations of ‘flashes of light, auras, or dense fields of dots’ that took her over in what she described as ‘self-obliteration’.
“My art originates from hallucinations only I can see … All my works in pastels are the products of obsessional neurosis and are therefore inextricably connected to my disease.”
Kusama’s colourful and meditative works come from intense internal retreat, but her gift is in being able to create art that has resonated deeply with generations of people.
The otherworldly singer Trish Keenan had an unconventional childhood too. She describes her early life as “crazy”. She died, unexpectedly, in 2011.
She was a generation older than me, and part of a mythic scene in my hometown, Birmingham, that I narrowly missed out on. Her sound is unlike anything else, and listening to it feels like being invited into a fantasy world.
The music she made with the band Broadcast evokes a period that never quite existed, and it makes perfect sense that she collaborated with Peter Strickland to create a soundtrack to an imagined film.
Her partner, and bandmate, has recently put together some of her unreleased music. You can listen to some of it here.
Another colourful artist, Pete Burns, describes his childhood as one of living in a shared dream with his mother.
His mother escaped from Nazi Germany and ended up in Liverpool via Vienna. Though she had mental health issues, and substance abuse, she created a fantasy world inside their home. Burns described it as ‘a secret world I shared with my mother. In those early years, I couldn't possibly have wished for a better friend. [...] She gave me the power to dream, the power to remove myself from where I might not be having any fun, and go inside my head and be somewhere else.’
In an interview with Princess Julia, he explained how the world was created.
She didn’t like real flowers because they died and disappointed her so she had plastic flowers and every so often she’d throw pearls on them, or diamonds or glitter, to make them prettier. She’d get washing powder and make fake snow. I was brought up a bit in a fantasy.
He was a complex, sometimes abrasive, person whose trauma was evident but, like Yayoi Kusama and Trish Keenan, he made a fantasy world from the materials he had available. In his case: music, costuming, and, ultimately, dangerous bodily reconfigurations.
🜁🜃🜂🜄
I’ve shared two of these pieces below to invite you into my fantasy world and to explore its cathartic pleasures.
🍄 Fruit (things that are ready to share)
Haga, Haxan, Hag, Hawthorn
This is a piece was published in the Common Salt anthology and it concerns ongoing fascination with invasive plants and deadly flora.
The witch comes in her winding sheet; her shroud.
Her fingertips are stained the colour of mourning. The soil is running with dark juices, there is dirt on the hem of her party dress.
Seizure
This piece was inspired by the Roger Hiorns art installation Seizure.
Her body is a miracle in the house. Copper sulphite leaks from her. The sink blooms with a little mould, a little sparkle.
🦠 Spores (tiny ideas)
Even though I’m deep into writing a novel, I have also started delving into the atmosphere of a new one. All I know is that it is inspired by sunken gardens, fake snow, vintage stage lights, and ethereal pop tunes.
This week I’m rewatching the TV adaptation of Sharp Objects because it scratches the itch of hot mess person goes back to their hometown to relive their adolescent trauma and get into all kinds of trouble. Also, they solve some murders. I want to think more about why this works so well as a plot.
𓍊𓍊𓍊 Mycelium (relational networks)
Over the summer, I read work from undergraduates on the Warwick University Creative Writing programme for the inaugural Ceremony Prize. It was so nourishing to read their innovative, incendiary work. Thank you to Jodie Kim for facilitating the collaboration.
I wish you a week of fantasy and pleasure.
Love, Laura
🐚 this is microdosing ceremony, a weekly-ish letter from my artist’s cocoon to yours.
🌺 find out more about rituals and writing on the ceremony podcast.
🐇 explore creative rabbit holes on my website.