I feel like I’m the queen of unpopular opinions.

I have thoughts that I have the good sense to sit on, but other things swell up in me like a bagel eaten too quickly and I feel like I have to let them out. I’m used to negative feedback, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating when you don’t understand why your honest and sincerely held beliefs warrant a negative response. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes I be trollin’. But not all the time, I promise!

Back when I was a baby Samyra-esque rabble-rouser in fat spaces on the internet, I frequently espoused what were considered at the time to be highly unpopular opinions. In my mind, they were considered unpopular because they forced people to consider the morals behind the actions of brands and influencers. Breaking the status quo, even from my small sphere of influence was seen as “mean.” Asking people to think about why we had to accept the way things were or preaching radical fat positivity were seen as acts of villainous villainy. Why should clothing lines stop at a 3X? UNGRATEFUL. Asking why influencers weren't shaking the table with said influence? JEALOUS. Demanding representation for the more and most marginalized? UNREASONABLE. Preaching the simple rejection of shapewear, my guy? HERESY.

Even this newsletter series feels more or less like a platform for uncool things that I want to say. Does the world need my specific take on Ariana Grande? Does the world need my take on anything? Recently, my sister asked me if I was writing for myself or what people wanted to read. I responded with the question of why couldn’t it be both. I think I just really want to be in dialogue with someone outside of my four walls and the group text, but I’m too shy to strike up a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop.

I’m just beginning to wonder if it’s even worth it to do this, popular or unpopular sentiments. What’s the point of flexing the writing muscle if you’re not gonna lift. What’s the point of sharing your embarrassing-ass POV into the ether? And finally, what did I do when times got tough before? I quit the internet. Maybe history is meant to repeat itself, maybe it shouldn’t. This is a very unresolved and incomplete thought. Just pulling at the thread without unraveling the seams.

btw, Happy Fat Liberation Month

P.S. I have a song for that! Should I Go by Brandy. A contemplative bop weighing the pros and cons of remaining present over a Coldplay sample.