I have a complicated relationship with my hair. It’s been the victim of both direct and collateral damage in the process of trying to make it into something that it isn’t, chasing an ideal that’s antithetical to the very core of my natural appearance.

Funny how that’s a reoccurring theme in my life.

I’ve been auburn, brunette, various shades of blonde (natural, obvi), pastel pink, ombre purple and jet black. I’ve cut it time and time again, even as short as pixie length (QUITE manic at the time). I’ve had scalp-burning relaxers, stressful hot comb sessions and Drybar blowouts - all in the name of chasing a supposed ideal that is everything I’m not. My natural black-brown curls continue to persist (and prosper!), despite my best efforts otherwise.

I recently got a haircut at my job (how can you not when you get 50% off all beauty services?). This was to my deep dismay (and the deep joy of the stylist); I’ve spent the last year and a half trying to regrow the tresses I lost at the height of my eating disorder. I’ll spare you the photo, but at the time, my hair looked like a baby chicken’s butt feathers.

At the time of my recent trim, my hair when straightened, was half-way down my back but also incredibly damaged, thin and fragile. We’re not quite talking THE BIG CHOP here, but I definitely lost some inches. I’m considering cutting it pixie length again, just to show everyone (especially my follicles and roots) who’s boss.

My only hesitation lies in the fact that I’ve been taking spironolactone and both oral and topical minoxidil and I’m finally starting to see some results. It’s been several months of faithfully taking the medication (in addition to giving eating and proper nourishment the old college try) to produce the most incremental of results, but I’m sticking with the game plan. My edges are returning and I’m seeing density in places that were thinner than my patience with men.

What do you think I should do with my hair? I’m already tired of wearing it wet and curly. Pixie for summer? Commit to being a straight natural? Get a relaxer in 2026? Send me your ideas!