12/10/15
i'm thankful for the sky in all its elegant variations. i'm thankful that last night, riding my bike home slightly too drunk from the office christmas party, i could see so many stars in the sky above the dark suburbs. i'm thankful, then, for the lack of street lights in our town, even though they might have made my ride feel safer. i'm thankful for the term "light pollution" and the way it reveals that what we often think of as aesthetic is actually ecological. this morning, i'm thankful for the gorgeous orgy of turner hues battling in the stratosphere. i'm thankful for their violent swirls, and how, in the course of my ride to work, the colors were already sinking into the horizon. i'm thankful for ephemeral beauty and for a chance to record it with language.
i'm thankful that i went to the office christmas party. i'm thankful that i didn't make up a bullshit excuse like i did the last two years. i'm thankful having a bike makes me more independent and so i didn't have to ask anyone for a ride. i'm thankful that though my bike ride was arduous, it's cool enough out that i was only kind of sweaty when i got there. i'm thankful for the tasty chocolate bock i had, and for the moment later when i offered tasting notes to a taiwanese student wondering whether it was sweet. i'm thankful that even though i couldn't figure out their complicated kitchen faucet to drink water, my strategy of drinking miller life "because it's basically water" did not result in any tragedies. i'm thankful for the fun conversations i had about ramen and uniqlo and fitbits and hors d'oeuvres and timeshares. i'm thankful for the adorable young daughter of a faculty member who i chase through the office when she visits and who pulled me down the stairs to the basement, where, to make her laugh, i collapsed into an inexplicably enormous pile of stuffed animals. i'm thankful that later, she pulled me upstairs and through a tiny crawl space door which opened up to a tiny hidden landing where we could spy on the party and which she said was a secret i couldn't tell anyone about. i'm thankful for the moment when she tried to lock me in the basement for some perceived slight i had inflicted on her, but didn't turn the lock fully, so that i easily exited and returned to the party for a while without her knowing. i'm thankful, when she eventually found me in the crowd, to tell her that i escaped because i am magic. i'm thankful when i squatted down to say goodbye to her, she affectionately bonked me on the top of my head.
i'm thankful for the various sensations that add texture to the day. i'm thankful for the moment, when i built an unwieldy tower of heavy cardboard boxes of old research materials on a cart, when i sensed an imminent collapse and was able to avert it by pressing into it with my chest. i'm thankful for the salty grease of the double cheeseburger i got from wendy's on my way home last night. i'm thankful for the delicious chemical slurry of melted chocolate frosty in the paper cup that i got for d. i'm thankful, while brushing my teeth this morning, for a moment of standing on top of an active heating vent while wearing only my bathrobe. i'm thankful for the strange deja vu of seeing someone i had a class with in grad school years ago at the gym with his hair dyed ice blue and then seeing him again, a few hours later, walking down the street on the other side of town. i'm thankful for whatever brand of cigarettes it is that produces smoke that smells like slightly over-toasted chocolate fudge pop-tarts, which i smelled while inflating my back bike tire. i'm thankful for the times when you can realize that you're having a good day in the midst of it and recognize it then and lock your feelings into a feedback loop, the good bringing more good bringing more good, rather than only realizing how happy you were in retrospect, though i am also thankful when i can do that.