The Comics Curmudgeon

And ask the doc to do something about those blackheads, OK Ed?

$ · August 7, 2023

Blondie, 8/7/23 … and my OnlyFans clients are insatiable! Crankshaft, 8/7/23 Medical Economics: Crankshaft pines for the days of general practitioners, but...

Is that a cigarette? Is that even allowed?

$ · August 6, 2023

Bizzaro, 8/6/23 Josh's dogged (foxxéd?) seventeen-year investigation into the post-animalpocalypse world of Slylock Fox has given us deep insights into the...

Robots also can't mock newspaper comic strips, what a relief

$ · August 5, 2023

Judge Parker, 8/5/23 Poor Sam looks so hangdog there trying to mumble his way out of a jam. But Abbey senses the glimmer of a Business Plan aborning: "You …...

Metapost: So long, farewell [for a week] [plus COTW]

$ · August 4, 2023

Hello, friends! Your COTW in a moment, but just a note that it'll be your last COTW for a little bit because I'm heading out on a li'l vacation tomorrow and...

Soapy Friday

$ · August 4, 2023

Mary Worth, 8/4/23 Greta and ... Max? What about Greta's prison love, Holly? Man, if you had told me that Mary Worth's grimdark tale of dogs being held...

Are the goalposts edible? And would it stop Dagwood if they weren't?

$ · August 3, 2023

Blondie, 8/3/23 It's a little unsettling that Blondie just produces this elaborate sandwich tray out of nowhere between the second and third panels. I'm...

Crows are terrified by merchant capitalism, it's true

$ · August 2, 2023

Gil Thorp, 8/2/23 God, can you imagine being part of an institution so dehumanizing and destructive to your identity that it strips your very name away from...

Need to break out of this "Oops! All prophecies!" narrative loop

$ · August 1, 2023

The Phantom, 8/1/23 The current Phantom storyline, broadly defined, has consisted of Old Man Mozz prophesying for our hero multiple different versions of how...

"Dustin" must end the generation war by admitting everyone sucks

$ · July 31, 2023

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/31/23 OK, I actually can't decide now if this is supposed to be Mud being canny or if this app was made by Rene, who got Mud to sign...

Mud's gonna see if any of the weird culty stuff will work on the kids

$ · July 30, 2023

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/23 Welp, it seems that, now that he's unshackled from his scam artist guru, our boy Mud Mountain Murphy is going all out to license...

"Your dog is fine," Dr. Ed sighs, unable to think of how to bill for this

$ · July 29, 2023

Mary Worth, 7/29/23 Are you suffering from depression? Well, the good people at Mary Worth suggest that you simply reunite with a long lost friend, which...

Metapost: An appeal to tweason (and COTW)

$ · July 28, 2023

Hello all! Your COTW in a moment, but first ... your boy Josh has somehow become banned from Twitter? And was given no specific reason why or told anything...

Innocent youth

$ · July 28, 2023

Family Circus, 7/28/23 Ah, sweet, unlearned Jeffy! Having heard his parents and grandparents telling treacly stories of guardian angels, he assumes that...

Europe would be much higher level of difficulty

$ · July 27, 2023

Crock, 7/27/23 The thing about ladies' butts is that the societal consensus on their optimal size has waxed and waned over the years: some decades have...

EXTREMELY sweet bolo tie on the warden there

$ · July 26, 2023

Gil Thorp, 7/26/23 Oh, wow, when I called for a wacky summer storyline, I didn't expect a dystopian plot where an flaboyantly dressed warden named "Reno...

Honestly, as Beetle's brother-in-law, Hi's thoughts on the troops are probably fairly ambiguous

$ · July 25, 2023

Crock, 7/25/23 Say what you will about the newspaper comic strips, but each one is a rich world filled with details that even dedicated daily readers might...

Begin the week SOAPY

$ · July 24, 2023

Dick Tracy, 7/24/23 I think, over the years that I've done this blog, that my brain has developed a protective layer that stops truly terrible (in a boring...

Dog-gone traumatic

$ · July 23, 2023

Mary Worth, 7/23/23 Oh, so I forget to tell you that when Greta was being held captive, she made friends with a fellow dog-prisoner, the one the cops were...

Sorry, this is a gross one, but some things NEED SAYING

$ · July 22, 2023

Six Chix, 7/22/23 One of the fundamental gimmicks of the comics is to provide human-level thought capabilities to animals and plants and even inanimate...

Don't know if I can ... BEAR this escalation! Ho ho

$ · July 21, 2023

Six Chix, 7/21/23 When I started this blog [mumblety mumble] years ago, there was still a prevailing ethos that comics strips were, in fact, for kids, even...

Thursday quickies

$ · July 20, 2023

Gasoline Alley, 7/20/23 Look, I'm not saying I'm in favor of the Machines declaring themselves "superior" and then forcing us to consume medications of an...

Soapy Wednesday

$ · July 19, 2023

Gasoline Alley, 7/19/23 I always respect Gasoline Alley's commitment to doing shambolic, pointless plots that seem to go on forever, and we're in the middle...

Disgusting Tuesday (yes, pickleball is disgusting to me)

$ · July 18, 2023

Gil Thorp, 7/18/23 Oh, I forgot to mention earlier that after Gil's arch-rival Luke Hernandez had an on-field meltdown that resulted in his losing his job,...

Monday is for congratulations

$ · July 17, 2023

Mary Worth, 7/17/23 Congratulations, Greta! You may be depressed due to trauma, but you're at least seeing a vet who recently started seeing a therapist...

Josh has questions

$ · July 16, 2023

Marvin, 7/16/23 Setting aside for the moment the entire "how old is Marvin" question -- he's preverbal, at least for this strip, and not potty trained? --...

Saturday is for leisure

$ · July 15, 2023

Hi and Lois and The Lockhorns, 7/15/23 Call me "out of touch" all you want -- my family certainly does -- but golf seems like a hugely expensive and boring...

Metapost: Laffs (live)! Laffs (top comments)! Etc.

$ · July 14, 2023

Happy Friday everyone! It's the second Friday of the month, and that means ... the Internet Read Aloud, my live comedy show, is BACK and better than ever in...

Coastal Scotland was dominated by the Norse for centuries, so the golf part is accurate

$ · July 14, 2023

Hagar the Horrible, 7/14/23 Wait, did we know that Hagar was bald under his omnipresent trademark horny hat? I did some deep research (went to my advanced...

The liberal media gives trepanning a bad rap

$ · July 13, 2023

Mary Worth, 7/13/23 Do you think this warehouse is the same one where the famed Operation H-Town shootout went down way back in ought-nine? You know, the one...

Wednesday is for torment

$ · July 12, 2023

Rhymes With Orange, 7/12/23 One of my biggest beefs with several of the more popular religious cosmologies is the concept of hell: the idea that anything you...

Mostly soapy Tuesday

$ · July 11, 2023

Judge Parker, 7/11/23 Josh, the world cries out with one voice, how's Sam and Abbey's sex vacation going? Well, they just had just gotten out of cell phone...

Receiving the award from one of his own employees is a nice touch

$ · July 10, 2023

Gasoline Alley, 7/10/23 Obviously the art in Gasoline Alley is not what you call realistic -- see for instance, Rufus's whole [gestures vaguely at his...

This puts the Peanuts "sigh" thing to shame

$ · July 9, 2023

Curtis, 7/9/23 As part of my mission to say nice things about comics when I enjoy them, I really enjoyed this Curtis! Basically I spent the whole strip...

Someday a real rain will come ... a rain named Mary ... and wash all this scum off the streets

$ · July 8, 2023

Mary Worth, 7/8/23 Huh, I guess the way that Mary is going to help out the police is to take to the streets herself as a cold-hearted vigilante who doesn't...

Metapost: Comedic COTW

$ · July 7, 2023

Folks! Next week is the second Friday of the month, and that means ... the Internet Read Aloud, my live comedy show, is BACK and better than ever in Los...

Madsen's checkered shirt implies an intriguing ska connection

$ · July 7, 2023

Dick Tracy, 7/7/23 Would you say that Madsen here has anime hair? I'm not an anime expert, or "otaku", but that's my take on what he's got going on, anyway....

"Hath fallen" is the past tense, which also doesn't work

$ · July 6, 2023

Slylock Fox, 7/6/23 I have come to accept that, in the post-Animalpocalypse world of Slylock Fox, one of the Transformations is that the relative sizes of...

Mostly soapy Wednesday

$ · July 5, 2023

Gil Thorp, 7/5/23 Ahh, there's nothing like waking up on a fine summer morning, picking up the morning dead tree paper, and seeing the banner headline that...

USA! USA! USA!

$ · July 4, 2023

Mary Worth, 7/4/23 Greetings, fellow Americans! Hopefully you are spending today watching fireworks and patriotically contemplating's our nation's successful...

Monday one-panels

$ · July 3, 2023

Six Chix, 7/3/23 I like this one! I like this one because it implies either that crabs are the undersea equivalent of Americans, or that in the far future,...

What did Kate do to deserve any of this

$ · July 2, 2023

Dennis the Menace, 7/2/23 We don't talk very much about what a truly sad place Mr. Wilson has been brought to by the unending irritations and indignities...

"The Lockhorns" would actually be a pretty funny name for an improv team

$ · July 1, 2023

The Lockhorns, 7/1/23 Ahh, another entry in the "Lockhorns are millennials” files: Yes, Leroy got up to 301 at UCB, yes he absolutely was that guy who...

Metapost: June2July COTW

$ · June 30, 2023

Last day of the month, last day of the week ... and it's time for your top comment! "'Seriously, brat is an obscenity, right? Like it's really really dirty?'...

Dawg is using his body to heroically protect the Safe Space for the Ladies

$ · June 30, 2023

Blondie, 6/30/23 The idea of being put in a situation where you respond to someone awkwardly in the moment and dwell on it later is of course relatable. I...

The twins are not cut-and-paste copies, I'm honestly impressed

$ · June 29, 2023

Six Chix, 6/29/23 The verb scoff, dictionaries will tell you, means to speak derisively about someone or something, or treat them with scorn, and that's how...

If I thought I was going to have to do some running, I would not have left the house wearing a suit jacket and bow tie

$ · June 28, 2023

Hi and Lois, 6/28/23 The word “organ” in English originally referred to the musical instrument, and the process by which its sense drifted so that it came to...

Tuesday quickies

$ · June 27, 2023

Gil Thorp, 6/27/23 Oh wow, it looks like the WOKE FCC won’t let America’s millions of high school sports fans hear fraught language or see a father-son...

Ha ha, Marvin likes cookies, you see

$ · June 26, 2023

Marvin, 6/26/23 “Because you said it in front of him in English, a language he absolutely speaks and understands! Yeah, I know, he’s a baby, or maybe a...

Sunday hopes and dreams and horror

$ · June 25, 2023

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/25/23 Wait, what exactly is Snuffy buying that tool for? It's definitely not to do any useful or productive repair work, I...

The bird will be fine, kids. Please do not disturb Mr. Thurston's "nap"

$ · June 24, 2023

Dustin, 6/24/23 Being a diagnosable Twitter addict, like I am, is not particularly rewarding, but it does provide you with a few fairly useless special...