🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about fatherhood without a child
I am not a father. When I walked into this room a minute ago, I was. But now I’m not. I tell myself this like a riddle as I watch the pale blur on the...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about what home really means
"For our house is our corner of the world," wrote French philosopher Gaston Bachelard. For a brief moment, I thought I had found mine. Read: In 2025, I...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about riding my bike
Two years ago on a blustery Sunday morning in November, I went to a concrete patch opposite the BMX track in Burgess Park and did the best thing I ever did....
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about hair loss and masculinity
The realisation that the end was nigh came at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, aged 20. After a night dancing to the sweet funk of High Fade in Whistle...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about becoming a queer parent
My wife and I know we want to have a family. Huge chunks of 2025 (and 2024 and 2023) have been about trying to get there... Before I get into it, I want to...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about the things I want to say to my boss
I’m sitting down to write this in a gap between jobs. The downtime is strange, like the world has stopped moving but my thoughts haven’t caught up. Other...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about my body in numbers
I’ve always liked numbers and paid attention to them. But I didn’t realise it would reach an entirely new level in 2025... I logged it all in apps: what I...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about how we can't quit what's killing us
Giving up smoking was easy. Sorry if that sounds smug, but it was. The trick was not smoking every time I wanted to, until I didn’t anymore. A hundred, maybe...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about stewardship
The world does not need more leadership. It needs stewardship. Leaders live in the now. Stewards live across the past, present and future. Leaders, as we...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about my curious, ignorant mind
I have been in one way or another glued to the internet since I was 12 years old. I am now 36. Most of my experience has been positive – it has been a place...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about dancing sober
I get chatting to someone at a party who shares their plans for the following morning. They’re going to a sober morning rave. “You should try it”, they say,...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about constipation
This year, I have been dwelling on constipation. To be truthful, it hasn’t been all year. Just the last few months. Since August. Since my niece, Sarah, died...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about finding the space to belong
Does moving to another country change everything? Does a new place reset your life or simply teach you new habits? These were some of the questions I asked...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about Aftersun
Aftersun (2022, directed by Charlotte Wells) is a visually gorgeous and emotionally brazen semi-autobiographic film about a young girl called Sophie and her...
🎄 In 2025, I thought a lot about Christmas, my way
In the early days of our relationship, we spent our Christmases traveling between families. Both sets of parents are divorced and remarried so we did a few...
🎄 Christmas is coming...
The countdown begins tomorrow.
🌟 Wanted: contributors for this year’s essay advent calendar
👋🏼 Hello again, friends. We hope you’re well. One question: what have you thought about a lot this year? Tell us! 🎄 We’re looking for contributors for this...
🎄❤️ In 2024, I thought a lot about my first love
Between the ages of about 13 and 15, I loved Oasis. I knew their b-sides. I knew their birthdays. I entered a Daily Mirror competition and, inexplicably, won...
🎄 In 2024, I thought a lot about muscles
A flexed bicep, to me, is as symbolic of manliness as a moustache or calloused hands. It represents hard work – a ritualistic tearing of muscle in the name...
🎄 In 2024, I thought a lot about my mum, her Alzheimer’s, and the Gregg’s sausage roll scam
Mum was diagnosed a couple of years ago. I’d been worried about her memory for a while and after she’d succumbed to an outrageous banking scam, I’d...