This Year
The decline happened so fast. Holding my breath, it’s August. For some reason it’s especially hard to not feel like I’m reliving last year again. Like a film...
I miss the comfort in being sad.
I am starting to exit the liminal space. I don’t know how I know it, but there’s a familiar dysregulation like an ill-fitting pair of unforgiving pants. My...
Pendulum to Homeostasis
It’s almost like two and a half years ago I started a descent. Trying my best to hold onto hope and pragmatism while also trying to make sure that Jon’s...
Simulacrum
A bright and sunny Seattle midday where just enough sweat gathers on the brow to make you feel it’s summer — real Summer — and the shade and the breeze...
Hollow
The painters come tomorrow. It’s Sunday, and this is working up to a moment I’ve been working towards for months - a refresh, a reclaiming, of my space and...
Just Like You Imagined
Closing out Pride month, I thought of tolerance. I thought of virtue signaling. I thought of the ritual without substance, the tolerance without acceptance....
Safe Haven
“You can come over and be boring with me for a few hours or so,” I texted to her just now. The summer solstice came and went with little fanfare. The days...
Light Bringer
It’s not unusual for me to hear a confession, some times it’s more awkward than others. The senior estimator from a local painting company came by Friday...
What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
It was a dusty late week afternoon outside of Center Camp. I had finished up my barista shift and was headed out to the playa when a honky tonk came cruising...
Full of Knives
There's no one to hold me when the horrors come, I wrote in my notes app in January. There was an ache inside that would erupt in shudders in the dark,...
The Persistence of Memory
I smiled, I laughed, I felt a melting behind my eyes watching her smile back at me. Each of us with ink sunk deep in our forearms reminding us of the love...
Unfinished Conversations
I entered the arena ready to be converted. Reliable sources had told me for years that Florence + the Machine was something special to see live: a religious...
Outtake: Unearned Luck
I’ve heard it said that luck may be a matter of perspective, that the lucky are folks who at best, are those that recognize an opportunity. Ty Frank (half of...
The Sacred and the Mundane
I held my nearly 12 year old kiddo crying against my chest when she came home from school today. I had gotten the email about an hour before from her school...
Regulation Radio
One minute, I was rinsing out a never-opened Trader Joe’s chai bottle in my sink (which had just paid too much money to replace the garbage disposal). The...
Demolition, Man
Under the watch of Saint Bread, we made our pact. For the uninitiated, Saint Bread is a small bakery and outdoor eating space on Portage Bay near the...
Supplemental: Landed
Maybe threshold moments are quieter than I expected. Maybe the buzz and vibration of needle against skin pushing ink for hours… Maybe the stinging wipe off...
Hold On
I woke up this morning, naked, sprawled and tangled in soft sheets, my lower left arm wrapped in plastic and bandages, morning light muted through pulldown...
Synthesis
The whole package. Jon and I started watching Lodge 49 when he was still sleeping in the parlor after his back surgery and first radiation treatments. We...
Fools
Our relationship was sudden, and accidental. I arrived October 29, 2004, by train with a few suitcases, to Seattle from Chicago. By October 31st, I kissed...
