Cold Pizza
A body shutting down is horrifying. Looking back, I don’t know why I took on the task for as long as I did. It was short, but horrible time. The home hospice...
Yahrzeit
I was asked what I want to be, because I was waiting to either learn or be told who I am. I thought about a woman I knew from my time in Chicago, who I see...
The Quiet Year
I’ve woken up into myself. I don’t recognize my arms. I’ve had hours of tattooing this year, and of late I’ve been awestruck, not regretful, of what I see....
Fixer
Is grief always an entry into a dramatically unfamiliar world? Some days I don’t think about the meta experience of my life. Other days it’s all I can think...
Avant Gardener
My skin hurts. It started a few weeks ago, a little itchy, maybe. I gave it a hard scrub, then another. I did a spa visit where I went between hot and cold,...
This Year
The decline happened so fast. Holding my breath, it’s August. For some reason it’s especially hard to not feel like I’m reliving last year again. Like a film...
I miss the comfort in being sad.
I am starting to exit the liminal space. I don’t know how I know it, but there’s a familiar dysregulation like an ill-fitting pair of unforgiving pants. My...
Pendulum to Homeostasis
It’s almost like two and a half years ago I started a descent. Trying my best to hold onto hope and pragmatism while also trying to make sure that Jon’s...
Simulacrum
A bright and sunny Seattle midday where just enough sweat gathers on the brow to make you feel it’s summer — real Summer — and the shade and the breeze...
Hollow
The painters come tomorrow. It’s Sunday, and this is working up to a moment I’ve been working towards for months - a refresh, a reclaiming, of my space and...
Just Like You Imagined
Closing out Pride month, I thought of tolerance. I thought of virtue signaling. I thought of the ritual without substance, the tolerance without acceptance....
Safe Haven
“You can come over and be boring with me for a few hours or so,” I texted to her just now. The summer solstice came and went with little fanfare. The days...
Light Bringer
It’s not unusual for me to hear a confession, some times it’s more awkward than others. The senior estimator from a local painting company came by Friday...
What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
It was a dusty late week afternoon outside of Center Camp. I had finished up my barista shift and was headed out to the playa when a honky tonk came cruising...
Full of Knives
There's no one to hold me when the horrors come, I wrote in my notes app in January. There was an ache inside that would erupt in shudders in the dark,...
The Persistence of Memory
I smiled, I laughed, I felt a melting behind my eyes watching her smile back at me. Each of us with ink sunk deep in our forearms reminding us of the love...
Unfinished Conversations
I entered the arena ready to be converted. Reliable sources had told me for years that Florence + the Machine was something special to see live: a religious...
Outtake: Unearned Luck
I’ve heard it said that luck may be a matter of perspective, that the lucky are folks who at best, are those that recognize an opportunity. Ty Frank (half of...
The Sacred and the Mundane
I held my nearly 12 year old kiddo crying against my chest when she came home from school today. I had gotten the email about an hour before from her school...
Regulation Radio
One minute, I was rinsing out a never-opened Trader Joe’s chai bottle in my sink (which had just paid too much money to replace the garbage disposal). The...
