I'm Not Ready to Die Yet
I've written briefly about this before, so forgive me my moment of self-indulgence, but what I've been thinking about for the past week is how little time...
This Is Why We Fight
Everything is terrible, isn't it? I didn't think I was going to manage a newsletter this week because I couldn't think of anything else to say besides that....
I'm a Goddamn Force of Nature
Four months of this newsletter, can you even believe? Eventually I'll stop marking each new month like this, but it still feels noteworthy right now because...
On Chronic Illness and the Comfort of Slashers
There's a fine line between comfort and fear for me, and as I sit on my couch and cue up the next violently bloody horror movie on my watch list, I'm...
On Pride and Books and the Unknowability of Myself
My God it's hot. Isn't it just miserably, brutally, unbearably hot? Don't you just want to lie very still in a very cold room and refuse to move or think or...
Welcome to Another Brand New Episode Of
There's a meme that goes around periodically that says something like, "If I'm too much, then go find less," and while I agree with it in theory, I struggle...
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things: May/June
Warning: many of the song links in this post are explicit, so click with care. I hate summer. This is a thing I know about myself, but somehow, every year, I...
How Fucking Romantic
I once had a conversation with a man, of course it was a man, who said that all romance novels were shallow and poorly written and only existed for the sex...
Since Feeling Is First
I spend more time thinking about the ways my life isn't what I want it to be than I do on anything else, mixed in with a sprinkling of how everyone else is...
Constant Reader
I have belonged to Stephen King since I was 8 years old, trembling and terrified in the doorway between living room and kitchen with the 1990 IT miniseries...
Holding My Wounds At Bay
I would have liked to have something better for you for the two-month installment of this newsletter, but it comes on the heels of one of the worst weeks...
Emotional Pornography
This is not the post I had originally planned to offer you today, but it's the one you get because life will insist on happening. I've been suffocated by...
On How to Be Present
I am frequently very resentful of my therapist because he's good at his job. He's right more often than he's not and he leads me to discuss things I would...
Hoping Machine is Down for Maintenance
I'm not thrilled with anything I've written in the past week and I almost decided not to write this at all, but I've committed to it and you pay money for...
On Penny and Sparrow and Being a Creature for Their Love
It's been a month since I started this newsletter, so what better time than now to write about the number 1 band of my heart? I am not a music critic. I...
On Dear Emmie Blue and My Not Quite Dead Yet Heart
I just finished reading Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis, and as soon as I read the final word, I came to write this post. I should probably stop writing these...
Tender Masculinity
It's possible to love men without rage. There are thousands of ways to love men.--Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water I have carried this quote with me...
Halleluiah, Anyway I'm Not Where I Started
This could be a companion piece to last week's post, because I'm nothing if not endlessly fixated on the same themes. I'm almost 35 and I'm still alive. I...
How to Be Idle and Blessed
I would like to start off this newsletter with a light, casual conversation about death. Go with me here. As a child, my first memory of having a nightmare...
My Body, Myself
It’s so hard to be a person. I used to feel like an alien trying to approximate human speech when I communicated with people, as though the words in my head...