I'm Still Here and I Have Questions

I am forcing myself to sit down and write this because I've been meaning to for weeks, but, if you can believe it, the current state of the world isn't exactly conducive to productivity. I have been immobilized by anxiety and fear and exhaustion and the unshakable feeling that everything is hopeless, and I tend to retreat inward when that happens because it's not a state I want to pass on to anyone else. I think many of us are probably feeling it right now, but that's all the more reason not to intensify it.

I'm terrified about what might happen to the government assistance I rely on to live, what might happen to people I love who are trans and non-white and more visibly queer than I am, what's already happening to people I don't know but care about anyway because they're human beings who deserve more dignity than they're being afforded. It's always been bad, but not this kind of bad, and I don't know what to do about any of it.