A Solstice Reflection

Today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day and the longest night, the deepest dark of the year. It always feels appropriate to reflect on the year at this time, especially this one as it has been one of the more difficult for me in recent memory. Not all bad, not even mostly bad, but very difficult in very complicated ways.

I have lived alone for nearly 365 days now, for the first time in my life. I lived with my family for 20 years and then with Elijah for almost 15, so I never had the experience of curating my own living environment, of settling into the stillness and the abundance of space and time and figuring out how to be by myself. Always there was someone, even if I was alone for a couple of months at a time. Someone to split the bills with, someone to navigate around and include in homemaking decisions, someone to consume media and meals with, someone to live with.