Interesting times all around.

I spent the summer being half-present and half-absent in my own mind as we were looking to buy a house in Tulsa. We went through the whole process in terms of getting a mortgage, making an offer, and setting everything up, until the house failed its inspection due to the need for a new roof and a whole boatload of knob & tube wiring throughout the house. I’ve watched enough Property Brothers episodes to know that knob & tube is a bad thing!

So, at the end of July, I scuttled all of that work and pulled out of the deal. It would have cost us between $20-40,000 to solve those problems and that was something that I didn’t want to deal with.

But about a week and a half ago, we found ANOTHER place in Tulsa that we liked, so we decided to go for it. They accepted our offer and we began the whole process again to try to purchase a place. Now, we are on the tail end of compiling all of the documents and getting everything in order so that we can start getting the house in tip-top shape (this will be a rental…I’m assuming we will never live there). As I went through this whole process, I am always surprised at how much I don’t know.

We spend the whole of our lives just kind of drifting through. I do know that there are many people out there who do understand the exact process of purchasing a house and everything that it entails, but I would assume that most people do not. So my question for the world is: Where do people get this education?

There seems to be a bit of a macho aspect to dealing with things like real estate, buying cars, borrowing money, etc. that I find a little bit gross. Knowledge seems to be a thing that is horded amongst a select few and they will only dole out bits and pieces until you have just enough to make everything work for you, but never more than that or anything that will provide you with something beneficial in the long run. Basically, you walk through a minefield of information that, were you to step off the path at all, could lead to bad things.

That’s not my life philosophy, but I think that I tend to be in the minority in all of this. I am ignorant! I will admit it! I’ve not had to go through all of this very often and it appears that no one ever really offered to educate me on the subject. With a naive individual like myself venturing into this world, there’s a very real possibility that I could get scammed or make some kind of fatal error through the whole process. There is very little room for mistakes or ignorance, which is disappointing.

I am sometimes annoyed at the notion that there are few resources out there to help someone starting out. Sure, there are websites that might give you more information, but they always seem scammy or are tied to a bank in some way that will always steer you back to their own financial services. That’s no good. I could ask friends and family, but there’s a reticence to share information amongst those types of people, not that they don’t want to share the info, but more because it feels like no one wants to say what they’ve done for fear of being judged and/or ridiculed for the choices that they’ve made. It’s like asking someone how much money that they make. No one wants to talk about it because they are afraid they will look like a fool or that they’re not doing as well as you, etc.

That’s where the macho factor comes in. Everyone thinks they’re playing poker and that everyone at the table is out to scam them (they might be!). But it feels like if everyone was a little bit more honest about their financial situation, then we might be able to see the areas where we are getting scammed and perhaps work to change the system so that the danger no longer persists. For instance: What is Earnest Money? Why do I have to pay this? I know there’s probably a reason, but it’s interesting that I simply accept that it exists without actually knowing why. (I actually know what Earnest Money is, but I’m using it as an example because it has a really stupid name).

Interest rates are deliberately confusing. Insurance is deliberately confusing. Mortgages are deliberately confusing. Am I being scammed? Am I not being scammed? Am I doing the right thing? Am I not doing the right thing? There’s no one there to tell you the answers to these things, kiddos. And if there is, then kudos to you for having someone like that in your life to explain everything to you.

You’re on your own and because everyone has a fear of looking stupid, they won’t share information with you in a forthcoming way.

But as some of you begin your search in life and start to think about buying something or borrowing money or anything like that, let me offer a piece of advice:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even if those questions seem stupid.

Nobody knows anything and anybody who claims that they know things is probably trying to scam you in some form or another. Seek out wisdom from trusted sources and ask questions that will clarify knowledge. Keep asking those questions until you get enough answers so that you feel like you have a good grip on the subject that you’re talking about. If someone rushes you or is impatient with your approach, then they may not be someone who you should be in business with and you should perhaps consider walking away.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with educating yourself on a subject. And the only way to educate yourself on that subject is to ask questions and proceed from a sense of knowledge rather than ignorance (which isn’t really the way of modern society nowadays).

There are no schools that will show you how to do this. Businesses don’t want to tell you how the sausage is made. Your friends and family will only offer vagaries and may choose to withhold knowledge for fear of looking foolish.

Don’t settle for any of these things. If anyone gets mad at you or makes fun of you for their lack of knowledge, then they’re probably an asshole and someone that you should reconsider your friendship with.

Learn from Uncle Girdner. He’s going through it and educating himself more and more about this subject every day. Ask questions. Get answers. Proceed from a place of knowledge. Otherwise, you’ll be the very fool that you don’t want to be.