Ridiculous Opinions #229
Well, clearly I took a little break last week.
It wasn't actually a break. If you're hip to the world of the internets, you'd have discovered that my previous email host, Substack, has a little Nazi problem. To translate that into regular speak, Substack has a ridiculous "free speech" policy where they turn a blind eye to whatever content that appears on their site (of course, that is limited...because you certainly can't have adult material there, but that's another story...).
Anyway, the bottom line is that Substack allows for anyone to post and monetize their content on their site, even if their views are hateful or have the potential to lead idiots further down the wrong path. They don't care as long as they're making money. Hey, that's capitalism. But it doesn't mean I have to be a part of it.
The only problem here (and it is, in fact, a problem for MOST sites) is that Substack is free. I like free. I like sending out these newsletters for free because I'm cheap. But there's a price to pay for free. When you accept the concept of "free", then you have to take what goes along with it. If that means that your newsletter gets published alongside Nazis, then you've gotta suck it up, because you aren't paying for this thing.
And if you think this is a problem limited to Substack, let me introduce you to Google, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. As has been said many times, YOU are the product in the tech world. If you aren't paying for it, then you're being sold, and in that case, I was.
So, I had to bite the bullet and start PAYING for this newsletter. I chose to use Buttondown and now I am paying to send you this newsletter on a weekly basis. I have too many subscribers, so no more free. There are benefits to the paid newsletter, however, which means that a) I am no longer publishing alongside hateful content, b) I am supporting a self-made business that is thoughtful in its approach to its customers, and c) YOU CAN NOW SUPPORT THIS NEWSLETTER FINANCIALLY.
That's right, dorks. This newsletter will soon be a pay-what-you-want affair. If you still like receiving it for free, no problem! But if you want to help me cover the costs for this newsletter, you can do that, too! I SHILL. I AM SHILLING.
But what about YOU, Randall? What are YOU doing?
I am on break. And the most glorious part of my break is that my daughters are here with me. Team Girdner/Ramsey is at full strength (just like the Oklahoma City Thunder, a team which I wake up dutifully at around 5AM to watch like clockwork). We have had a joyous time so far and I adore having my daughters here with me.
But let me tell you about the karmic price that I am paying for having them here...
When I was the same age as my daughters, I was...shall we say...a bit self-centered. Whenever I would visit my mother's house, I had a tendency to barrel through the place like an elephant on the plains of the Kalahari. Dishes would be left on every available surface. Food would be eaten indiscriminately. I would commandeer the television day and night. I would arrive when I wanted and leave when I felt the whim. I did not do laundry or take out the trash or clean the house in any way. My ever-suffering mother would do these things for me and she seemed to enjoy it, as a whole, because I WAS HOME. But I'm sure that, deep down, she resented my flamboyant appearances at her home during holidays (and as well she should have).
Little did I know that, during those times, my mother was putting an ancient witch's curse on me. It went a little something like this...
(Spoken in a witch voice)
Slob though you be
I love you dearly
And I miss you
Because your visits are yearly
But slob you do be
Housework you won't do
So I pass the gift of slobiness
To your children, too!
And that was all it took. Those ways I acted as a young adult when I would visit my mom? Yeah, now my kids do that to ME.
And I deserve every bit of it.
But what's weird about it is that, even though my daughters have heard me rant about the slovenliness in my household; how they have heard me rail about the candy wrappers that are always laying around the house, the dishes that are left everywhere, the clothes they won't put away, or the fact that they won't even look up from their phones as Tracey and I sweep the floor...
...I STILL ADORE THAT THEY'RE HERE!
And so, the curse continues. And my daughters should pay attention, because when they're not looking, I will be burning a small locket of their hair over a ceremonial fire and whispering an ancient curse with a hint of crazed laughter in the corner of the room, knowing that, someday, they, too, will suffer the WRATH OF THE MESSY YOUNG ADULT.
In other news, Maurice the Beaver has caused quite the stir over on Reddit. (I've embedded it here, but the embed might not work).
<blockquote class="reddit-embed-bq" style="height:500px" data-embed-height="740"><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/18tfvy3/maurice_comics_695/">Maurice Comics #695</a><br> by<a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/gracelandwest/">u/gracelandwest</a> in<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/">comics</a></blockquote><script async="" src="https://embed.reddit.com/widgets.js" charset="UTF-8"></script>
Basically, Maurice is running for president and is considering a Universal Basic Income as a presidential platform. Sure, that sounds like an ultra-serious comic, but it's done in a really stupid way. But what has been interesting about it is the amount of people that have engaged in the comments. The Reddit community has STRONG FEELINGS about these things and they LOVE TO EXPRESS THEIR THOUGHTS.
If you're bored, hit the link and read the comments on the comic. Some people really get pissed off. My pithy replies don't exactly help.
All right! That's it for the newsletter today. Hopefully, this arrives okay and all is well...We shall see!
Have a great day and an even better 2024!
