Having a baby
On best-laid plans.
Programming note: Hi, everybody! I’m back and semi-unretired for the rest of my actual work leave. Expect a new Enthusiasms in your inbox every other week (biweekly?) for the rest of the summer and fall. Thanks as always for reading. <3, J
My son O. was born, butt first and with a full head of hair, on June 24 at 12:59 p.m. The first thing I said when I saw him was Oh, he’s perfect, which he extremely was and continues to be now, six weeks later.
In my hospital bag, I had packed this One Line a Day journal that a good friend gifted me, and I thought I might fill it out and give it to O. eventually—a record of his little life as we got to know him and learned how to be parents. A Five-Year Memory Book—the time scale, I joked, that would become increasingly less momentous. You smiled for the first time. You had a T-ball game today and lost.
Well, I made it three days. While we were in the hospital, I ended up with postpartum preeclampsia, which resulted in an extended stay to get my blood pressure under control. While I am fine and got incredible care (shout out to every nurse and PCA at Mt. Auburn Hospital, each one a literal angel), I did not particularly want to remember this extremely un-fun time. So, I quickly abandoned the journal.
It was a nice thought. I have had other similarly nice thoughts about things that did not turn out quite as planned. It’s an adventure. I’m sure there will be many, many more.
Here’s what I wrote in what ended up being the last journal entry:
Your first thunderstorm! We haven’t left our little (actually quite large) room, you and I, so our world feels very small—it was a reminder of how big it is out there and how excited I am to show it to you.