The Come Together workbook is out now!

More info • Amazon • Barnes & Noble

Thank you to the terrible AI-generated fake workbook that upset a reader so much that Emily decided to write the real thing. She and Robyn spent much of last year distilling Come Together into exercises that you can use in your day-to-day life.

Here’s the intro – you can download a PDF of chapter one for free here. (No login or anything.)

What You want when
(If?) You want sex

Why do people have sex?

That might seem like a silly question in a workbook about creating lasting sexual connections, but the reality is, people’s reasons for sex vary—and these reasons can change over time—so it’s important to know when, where, or if sex shows up on our list of priorities.

For some people, sex is very important, while for others… not so much. Some people find that sex feels crucial at certain times in their life, but when they’re stressed, depressed, or ill, or as they get older, it feels like the least important thing in the world. For others, sex might be just as important to them in their 80s as it was when they were younger.

Even if sex is very important to everyone in the relationship, there are only twenty-four hours in a day and seven days in a week, and we have a lot of other things to juggle in that time. We might have family to take care of, a paycheck to earn, an academic degree to finish, chores to tackle, a puppy to house-train, or a chronic illness to manage. We have to sleep, eat, and bathe. We might want to talk to friends who are not our sex partners, and maybe even watch a little TV or take a nap.

What makes sex worth setting aside everything else? Why would anyone deliberately carve out time and energy just to close the door on all their other priorities and instead turn toward another’s erotic self?

In short, what is it that we want, when we want sex?

Here’s the free preview link again

The first chapter is free on Emily’s website with no login or email required. (Just pinky promise you’re a human and not an AI.)

Buttondown is a nice email list provider! This is Emily’s referral link if you want to try it out.

Questions or comments? Please email my very tiny team at [email protected]

Feel free to say hello on 📷 Instagram and 🦋 Bluesky – I don't always reply but try to read everything.

Signed copies of Come As You Are and Come Together can be obtained from my amazing local bookseller, Book Moon Books.

Stay safe and see you next time.