Launch Day Approaches + Another Review
Welcome back!
The next Percival Gynt book will be out in less than 30 days! (May 25th!)
In this installment, the Inevitability of Fire playthrough continues, plus another advanced review has dropped! Am I using too many exclamation points?
I mean: Am I using too many exclamation points!!!
Sorry. Only stone-cold sobriety from here on out:
A New Review for You to Peruse
Okay, not stone-cold sobriety. What’s a slightly less cold mineral-based sobriety?
Nevermind.
Here’s another advanced review of Inevitability of Fire! (I really can’t help myself with these exclamation points!) This one is by (checks notes) “Hatboy.”
Is that right?
I swear he has a name. He’s a great reviewer! Uses fewer exclamation points than I do, but I don’t hold it against him. But he credits himself as “Hatboy” on the website, so Hatboy it is!
The review’s a fun read in its own right, and he accurately assesses our hero’s unique mystery-solving approach as “solving mysteries, generally just by walking into them and then looking (in my mind’s eye) just extraordinarily tired until they solve themselves around him.” He’s not wrong!
Or wrong. (Pebble-cold sober.)
Read the whole review here!
And Now, This is Happening Again
For the 116 new (and largely imaginary) readers who have joined the newsletter since our last installment, Inevitability of Fire is the title novella from the new collection, and it’s structured Choose Your Own Adventure-style.
In this newsletter, we’re doing a playthrough where the readers vote on what indignity Percival suffers through next. So far, he’s arrived at his favorite cheese shop and decided to flirt with the clerk. It hasn’t been going great.
As we resume, the question Percival has posed (to himself) is: “Did the thing I just say make any sense?”
Mild Spoilers: It did not.
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127.
You’re really indulging my worst instincts as a historian and writer. This section could easily have been excised, if not for my desire to give you more control over the shape and contours of the narrative. I make no apologies for what’s about to happen to you.
“No,” said Percival, after a moment’s reflection. “I suppose it doesn’t. But that’s the way of the world, isn’t it? And I’m quite worldly. Quite... Sanctuary-Eighty, to be specific. You, of course, know the name of your own planet, so I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. That’s a good nod you’re doing. Very noddy. Very agreeable. Do you agree to many things? Don’t answer that. I mean, you can answer if you want to. I’m not the King of Answers. Ooh! That sounds good. I have this sort of side business I’m working on, but I don’t have a thing to... Anyway. You. You’re very beautiful. I like the curve of your, um, your... You’re not nodding anymore. Right. Dinner? You work in... food. You must know the best restaurants. Or the best restaurants for cheese. Or maybe you’re sick of cheese, so the best restaurants not for-cheese? The best, least cheesy restaurants? The bleast cheesy? Bleashy? Bleachy Leesy? I... I think perhaps something is going wrong inside my mouth place?”
I hope you’re proud of yourself. Go to 300 already.
—
And so we shall!
—
300.
“Nevermind,” said Percival. “Ignore most of what I just said. We should go out. Should we go out?”
“No?” said Madrigal, who was fairly certain that that was the right answer, but also slightly dazed.
“Oh. Would it help if I asked you again? Perhaps differently? Perhaps with singing?”
“No,” said Madrigal. “Definitely not with singing.”
Percival considered whether he should sing anyway.
If you think Percival singing sounds like a good idea, go to 7.
If you’re neither an idiot nor having a go, skip ahead to 125.
—
If you want singing, you’ll have to buy the book. Let’s do one more and see if we’ve reached anything resembling a plot yet!
—
125.
“How about this?” said Madrigal, leaning forward across the counter and eyeing the girl who’d been sniffling at the back of her shop for the better, or if we’re being frank here, worst part of an hour. “You want to impress me, O King of Answers? Go find out what has that girl so upset. You cheer her up, maybe get her out of my shop, and today’s cheese is on me.”
“And you’ll—”
“Free cheese, King. Don’t push it.”
Percival weighed his option. His singular option. “And you don’t think,” he asked, “that she just has hay fever?”
Madrigal did not.
Go to 91.
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That seems promising! No vote this time. (I know, I know.) But it’ll give new readers a chance to catch up maybe?