Season 2, Episode 1; "End of the Curse" as Reviewed By Your Shitty Senior Thesis
So here we are, how far we've come, the lives lived, the memories shared. Are these Girls Really Golden? Golden evokes royalty, regality, and value. Is this...
Season 1, Episode 25: "The Way We Met", Reviewed With a Craigslist Ad
Devastatingly beautiful, charming 43 year old seeking two fun-loving gals to share devastatingly charming ranch home. Must be okay with multiple male...
Season 1, Episode 24: "Big Daddy", as Reviewed By Buzzfeed
Blanche is all excited to see her father, who she calls Big Daddy. She misses The South, which to her, seems like, To Sophia, The South seems like,Blanche...
Season 1, Episode 23, "Blind Ambition"; Our First Very Special Episode
What is the point of a Very Special Episode? Did sitcoms feel an obligation to teach us something? Was it simply a ratings grab? These days, every episode is...
Season 1, Episode 22, "The Job Hunt", as Reviewed By a Food Blogger
We started with some double ripple fudge, whose creamy texture reminded Rose of the cows she milked at home. She could feel the rush of the breeze up her...
Season 1, Episode 21, "The Flu", as Reviewed By a Men's Rights Activist
I’m so glad I get this platform to finally say something. I’m so tired about being drowned out by all these feminists that control the media! Finally, I get...
Season 1, Episode 20: "Adult Education" Reviewed By the College Brochure
Welcome to Miami Convenient College, where it doesn’t matter what classes you take, they are only for retired women to take to get a promotion at work. If...
Season 1, Episode 19: "Second Motherhood" as Reviewed By That Pretentious Guy in Your MFA Workshop
So first, I wanna say, I can tell you really put a lot of work into it. There’s some really interesting stuff here. But I have a lot of questions? Firstly,...
Season 1, Episode 18: The Operation; Let's Face it, This Episode Was About Showing Off The Ladies' Gams
And what wonderful games they are! I would wear this outfit permanently if I looked like that. The gals are enrolled in tap lessons and have a recital coming...
Season 1, Episode 17, "Nice And Easy"; THIS IS AN ED APPRECIATION POST
The best thing worth mentioning is the brief time we spent with Ed, the Miami cop who joined the force because he loves Miami Vice. It’s his world. He yearns...
Season 1, Episode 16, "The Truth Will Out," by Someone Who Is kind of Sick of Hearing About Charlie
Well, you can't win them all, huh? Also, I am sick of hearing about Charlie. Rose's daughter Kiersten is coming to visit (of course that is her name) with...
Season 1, Episode 15, "In a Bed of Roses", as reviewed by Rose's Homicidal Vagina
I’ve already killed once, and now I have a thirst for murder. The first was Charlie, Rose’s doofy husband. We were having our usual sex night after the cows...
Season 1, Episode 14: "That Was No Lady", as reviewed by me as a Teaching Assistant for Women Studies 101
The Fem'erican Dream Me [sitting backwards on a desk, my feet resting on the desktop]: Okay class, I hope everyone did their reading for this week. Today, we...
Golden Girls Classic Recap: Season 1, Episode 13 "A Little Romance"
Classic recaps of a classic show Season 1, Episode 13 "A Little Romance", a.k.a. This One Made Me Pee My Pants I can confidently claim that I have advanced...
Season 1, Episode 12: "The Custody Battle" as written by Bret Easton Ellis
And I was playing bridge out on the lanai with a raspberry lemonade, the same one that Jane Pauley drinks, and I suddenly remembered that my sister Gloria...
Season 1, Episode 11, "Stan's Return" as Reviewed By the Co-worker who Really Really Wants to Tell You About Her Crazy Night Out But You Aren't Taking the Bait
On this very special episode, the gals all become bulimic... I've seen this episode a few times already, but it's hard to think right now. I have the WORST...
Season 1, Episode 10, "The heart Attack"
Way to spoil the episode, episode title! The gals are just finished having a big party with lots of food [These gals have a more active social life than I...
Season 1, Episode 9, "Blanche and the Younger Man"
Well, everyone, people warned me about this. I guess you can't win them all the time. I've finally hit my first mediocre. Oh believe me, even a mediocre...
Season 1, Episode 8, “The Break In,” as reviewed by Blanche's Chinese Vase
I am, or was, Blanche's gorgeous but short-lived Chinese Vase. I used to live by the front door so everyone coming in could gaze upon my beauty. Blanche...
Season 1, Episode 7, "The Competition," as reviewed by Rachel Zoe
I cannot believe how uh mah zing these ladies looked. Babe, can you believe it? Babe? Babe? Rodge? Where are you? ... Firstly, this is Sophia's outfit she...