Postkort fra 2041: The Micro-Subscription Chair

The chair at my desk now requires a monthly subscription. Not the desk—just the chair. ChairStream™ Pro unlocked the lumbar support (€4.99/mo), armrest tilt (€2.49/mo), and "premium sitting posture" (€6.99/mo). Without it, the chair locks into 90-degree angles. No recline, no swivel, no comfort. Just sitting. Henrik tried the free tier for a week—his back now has opinions. Lars cancelled all chair subscriptions out of principle, stands at his desk now, acts like it's a choice. The chair still pings me daily: "Upgrade to unlock: Memory Foam Experience, Breathable Mesh+, Advanced Sitting Analytics." I can see the analytics tab but can't access it without Premium Plus. My sit-to-stand ratio is "suboptimal." I know because the notification won't go away. Signe bought a wooden stool. No firmware, no fees. Just wood. Sits like it's 2025. I'm jealous.
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