Dear reader,

Yesterday I celebrated fifteen years without drinking. That is 5,480 one days at a time. I have now spent twice as long sober as I did getting drunk. Time in this regard has both moved at lightning speed and inched along like mollases.

I spent the morning like any good addict does and deactivated the social media profile I wrote about signing into last week. I stumbled my way through since you can’t deactivate more than once in a week and managed to just delete it.

In reflecting about my not wanting to write about my social media relationship it occured to me that it just makes me feel drunk in public, a vulnerability hangover on its way with every sentence about my inability to regulate my app usage.

All week I noticed a major theme : I couldn’t read. I didn’t pick up a book or my kindle or read a newsletter. I just scrolled, letting the ache of the world overturn me and freeze me into inaction. I read about Juniper Blessing and Davonta Curtis, trans women murdered, I read about their stories and their lives. I froze thinking about wanting to protect the trans woman I love the most, my beloved partner.

I am grateful to see how social media brings me news and information I might otherwise not see at the same speed, but I stay curious about if the speed is what causes my inaction. I remember that a slower delivery creates more momentum in me. I pray to trust that a career really can thrive without social media.

I spent the afternoon like any good addict does and taught my Quilt in a Weekend class at Green Door Folk School up the road from my house. I spent the day with eleven eager students who made the most beautiful quilts I’d ever seen, all profoundly their own. We played with patterns and diagonals and appliqué and colors. We dove into our individual lineages and ancestry, bringing in the spirits of those gone and those still here.

We found ourselves clapping for each other just for saying our name and why we showed up to class. I feel so lucky when that many strangers mesh into one supportive group, cheering each other on through every mistake, every ripped seam, every tender moment of chaos.

I tried something new and invited the students to contribute a fragment, scrap, or fully formed quilt square to make a group quilt to raffle off for a local mutual aid organization. I’m looking forward to putting it together along with a few other quilts I’m working on for friends and babies.

I came home to greet the pets and get ready for my book study for The Practice of Attention which is a delightful experience. This small group tends to each other each week and we laugh and relate on how our attention wiggles and restores.

I spent the evening like any good addict and ate a beautiful dinner my girlfriend made and then we watched Euphoria and I got into bed early. I brought my phone to bed with me and remembered that if my phone is in bed, social media or not, I won’t read. The rule must remain, no phone in bed at bedtime. It’s why I have the alarm clock.

In many ways it was just a normal day. Teaching, navigating grief, facilitating, and being with my little family. I do love a list on an anniversary so I thought I would bring you fifteen things I’ve learned about addiction in fifteen years of sobriety.

1. It really is one day at a time. This is not just a cute phrase in the beginning, it is the only way through.

2. There is nothing too painful to go through. The deepest loss, the biggest pain, can all be experienced without a drink. I’ve watched people lose children, spouses, careers, homes, and themselves - and they still didn’t pick up.

3. Having a dog makes being sober easier and makes your heart grow a million times bigger.

4. You don’t have to change all at once. The simple yet profound act of not picking up a drink will change you slowly.

5. Feelings become information instead of emergencies.

6. Recovery has given me a community that loves me and supports me beyond my wildest dreams.

7. Sometimes I am restless, irritable, and discontent and these are cues I need to tap into my spiritual program.

8. I am constantly surprising myself with who I am and who I am becoming.

9. Honesty has become paramount. I am still drawn to the smallest lies and embellishments, when I speak clearly and with complete truth my life is better.

10. Time moves differently when you’re not slurring your actions. It is sharper and more precise.

11. Service is not optional, it is the fastest way out of your own head and into community.

12. Relapse is not the end of the story, for many it is a part of the process. The first time I quit drinking was Fall of 2009. It took two years for it to stick. Don’t give up before the miracle happens.

13. Grief and sobriety are deeply intertwined. Sobriety asks me to look at the sadness in full technicolor.

14. The body remembers when the mind forgets. I stay sharp and on my toes and remember how bad it was and play the tape all the way through so I don’t pick up again.

15. If you can’t find a higher power, start with a blade of grass.

May these support you if you’re trying to get sober, are sober, or are just trying to loosen your grip on an action or habit that could stand to have a little more flexibility.

I continue to stay alive on what feels like borrowed time, always amazed that I made it and that I get to stay here. Thanks for cheering me on, many of you since year one. Grateful for another twenty four hours.

→ This weekend I am teaching The Pattern of Words : From Idea to Shape on Sunday May 24 from 12-3pm EST : Registration is open

Class is $75 and two part payment plans and scholarships are available. We’ll outline the fragments of your writing into books proposals, project descriptions, and prepare them for their final form.

We’ll work with what you already have and generate new material. I imagine this will be a fun and vibrant way to spend a Sunday afternoon dreaming up the projects you might want to write or make.

→ Save the Date : I’ve been writing a lot about planning and goal setting and I built a new class that combines the energies of my previous classes Organizing a Day with Mapping Your Creative Business called Time Horizons : Planning from the seasonal to the daily with nested goals, big visions, and tiny tasks happening live on zoom June 27 + 28 Join the Waitlist here

Bring your most beloved tools, we’ll be working in analog but everything can translate to digital and beyond.

Liberate your business, liberate your life! Join Amelia of Off the Grid for a FREE book club with author Becky Mollenkamp. 5/20 @ 11:30am CT. RSVP here

Join the PAPER CHOIR, a quarterly in praise of slow time, deep thought & radiant attention. Printed and published in beautiful Northern California. paperchoir.com code MONDAY

Do you long for a better world? Join PRINT CLUB! Monthly subscription - enjoy art that aligns with your values, support mutual aid, in your mailbox!

Care-driven editing services for creative humans—untangle your thoughts, polish your prose, enhance your magical writing, and find your readers!

every class. every guest lecture. yours to keep. the unexpected shape writing academy is closing—this is your last chance to take it home.

Want to book a classified ad for June ? Read all about it here.

If you have an art raffle or mutual aid effort you’d like included for free in Monday Monday you can email it to info@codycookparrott.com

→ info@codycookparrott.com
→ www.codycookparrott.com
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