Obama Shirt
Some Places I Have Lived and the Crisis I Would Have If Someone Asked Me, a Former Local, to Recommend Things to Do in Each Place
Baltimore, Maryland
Okay so technically I lived just outsi—yes, okay, sure, it's a "suburb." Well, I'd say to catch a game at Memorial Stadium, but I'm pretty sure that's apartments now. The last time I was in town, going to the shiny new Oriole Park at Camden Yards, they were tearing down Memorial Stadium. It was jarring, this once magnificent thing reduced to a pile of rubble. You knew it was done on purpose, the demolition, but it still felt uncomfortable driving past, like there was a disaster in progress. Oh well, the new place is alright.
Speaking of uncomfortable, a few years ago I sent out a list of places I'd like my ashes scattered. One of them was the church where I was baptized. No real reason. I'm not religious anymore. But they've got this "Thou Shalt Not Park Here" sign outside, instead of, you know, "No Parking" or whatever heathens would say. Let me enjoy the joke forever in the place where I...became Catholic? Still don't have a great grasp on which sacraments gets you into the club. Not that I would like to be in the club; I would simply like to ensure that I am not in the club.
South Bay, California
I was a leash kid. Our apartment complex was sort of secluded, but if you wanted to get anywhere, there was this big multi-lane road and that's where the sidewalk was, hence the leash.
Like, do the leash if you want, but I feel like it's optional? It's just the only way I've ever experienced the place.
I always just sort of assume the places I liked in the early 1990s don't exist anymore, but look at that! Coyote Point Museum still sort of exists!
North Bay, California
Wineries?
The thing about growing up in wine country is the "growing up" part. Wineries are markedly less fun when you are a non-drinker, whether by choice or by age.
So many remnants of Spanish colonization.
There was not a lot to do in my hometown, so one fancy way we'd spend time once some of us could drive was by visiting the, like, three wineries that appealed to legally non-drinkers. At one, they had a variety of jams, oils, and spreads you could sample on crackers and bread, and a terrace where you could eat lunch. At another, they served kids grape juice, which was a nice "you exist!" nod when you'd be dragged on winery tours when you had extended family in town. One had a nice little walking path in the mountains—you'd park and you wouldn't even have to go near the winery, but you walk long enough and the grapes were right there and you were like, oh right, them.
That big green hill that was the default Windows background is in my hometown. I have never been there. I didn't know it was there until a few years ago. Figures.
Spokane, Washington
Okay, so if you take the bus uptown, you can hit up NorthTown Mall. It's got a Barnes and Noble and a huge food court, so you'll be pretty much set. And if you take the bus downtown, well, there's River Park Square, the gentrified mall. There's an AMC theater and three or maybe four stories? Oh, and a Ben and Jerry's.
Probably the idea of living on campus and being carless the entire time I was in Spokane was to encourage me to spend more time around campus, but when you can spend $2 to hop on the bus to spend $40 somewhere else, why wouldn't you?
I visited my old stomping grounds when I was in town for the NCAA women's Sweet 16 and Elite 8 in March. Did the walk from Gonzaga to Safeway, bought way too much food, had to carry it all back to my hotel just off campus, added some Pita Pit to my haul anyway. It was surreal to know I'd only lived there a year and a half, 12 years ago, but it all still felt so familiar. There are a handful of new buildings—the dining hall, for one, was torn down awhile ago in favor of a more modern, multipurpose building that happens to have a dining hall. But the student center is still there. My musical homes, the Mansion, the choral hall, and the Annex, are still there. The short, wide wall painted thick with years of upcoming campus events outside College Hall is still there. The dorm where I was once wheeled out on a stretcher to a waiting ambulance is, too, as is the other dorm where I was once wheeled out on a stretcher to a waiting ambulance.
Oh, but NorthTown Mall is where my roommate bought me an Obama shirt before the 2008 election, and where she took me after I got out of the psych ward at the end of freshman year, so yeah, that's the place to be.
Iowa City, Iowa
Natural history museum (on campus).
Phillips Hall bathroom graffiti (on campus).
Old Capitol (on campus).
Iowa women's basketball games (on campus).
I tend to believe I would never redo any part of my life, because I am generally happy with where I am now or whatever, and I can't shake the sci-fi notion that any tiny thing I do differently would mean that everyone I am friends with now would hate me or something, but anyway, I wouldn't mind doing my Iowa City experience again. Like, I wouldn't, but if I had to redo two years, fine. Let's see where that takes me.
Des Moines, Iowa
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When you work downtown for four years and are just like, "I guess the Capitol is over there? And the downtown Hy-Vee is cool and compact? And the civic center sometimes has big touring shows? And the parking is pretty inexpensive? Not sure what's here, though?"
Suburban Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Contrary to popular belief, I have never lived in a suburb of Milwaukee.
There's a Shake Shack in Milwaukee, though, which makes it worth the trip.
Madison, Wisconsin
There's also a Shake Shack in Madison.