The Joy of Not Knowing
This one is about the joys of not knowing, things found thanks to others, and some things I share with you.
I have a list over to the side of my desk that is essays or posts or whatever I want to write some day. One is about doing webcomics in the 2000s, another is about the Cat's Cradle quote I'm never not thinking about, another is actually half-finished but involves citations and things because it's about an actual studied subject. But, I was idly thinking about Fallout as I always do and remembered this other topic that actually I also think about a lot (though not as much as Fallout). I super love not knowing things.
For work I have to be aware of a lot of TV shows and movies and how they relate to each other, but it's all loglines and basic image assets and purely academic knowledge of themes and whatever. And when it comes to my personal watching habits I am a big "I love these dozen things and that's all I need to watch forever thanks," kind of person.
Example: a comfort documentary for me is about the founding of the FDA and I've maybe watched it a hundred times since I first discovered it a year ago.
So I do rely on other people to hip me to fresh things to love, or I'd be here rewatching Blade for the fourth or fifth time this year between episodes of historical documentaries I've nearly memorised. And is there anything more fun than watching or reading or engaging in something new because someone you love loves it?
My best friend and I watch movies together, across the miles. We started out with a bunch of key queer (or queer-aligned) movies of my youth and now it's his turn to show me the films that she loves. We've been doing this for years though, since it took hours by transit to see each other, to when it was a ten minute walk to one another's living room--shepherding one another across fandoms and being excited for each other's current obsessions.
Maybe Supergirl wasn't for me, that's fine because lots of things aren't, but when I am seeing the tropes and the themes and what is exciting to my best friend then I get it! And when I come across imagine your OTP type trope posts or concepts or gifs I send them along like "OH! like your ship."
ID: Screencap of the direct message system in Tumblr. The sender sends a post that begins "look. i am a creature of simple needs. all i want is a character who seems kind and open-hearted and easygoing, a character..." and follows that up with "Supercorp, etc." The reply is "Yes!!!!"
And I am this for others as well, my inboxes full of birds or niche Batman takes, (literal) clown nonsense, or cringe (positive) vampire content. It's like learning somebody's favourite food and making it for them. "I don't get this but I know enough to think you will like it" is maybe one of my favourite ways to say "I love you." And it's a lovely way to be seen.
ID: Screencap of a text convo. The sender says "I realised last night I'm such a fan of vampire stuff and didn't realise it." The reply is "I didn't know you didn't know that about you!" End ID.
But that's still knowing something, in an auntie kind of way. I know you like this thing and the basic concepts around it, here is that thing you like!
Not knowing but knowing, for me, is to have a full or mostly full understanding of a story and to find that satisfying enough to enjoy fan content about it. I am, for instance, never going to read Les Misérables. But I know and love people who love it and have, through exposure, learned quite a bit about the story. Is it accurate to the story? Probably not incredibly so! But it is enough to enjoy when my tumblr feed delivers mini-essays about the mirror nature of [the mean cop man] and [the angry young woman] and to recognise character names in context even if I could not begin to tell you what they are.
I just think its neat! It is neat to share stories and to learn things because those we care for have an interest in them. And it can be fun to figure out when a thing they love might be fun for you too. And it is also as fun to realise when you prefer their enthusiastic re-telling of it to any direct ingestion.
I suppose it is saying "you tell the story better." And what makes it better is that the person telling the story is someone you enjoy.
How about some books I've enjoyed and only picked up because somebody recommended them or loved them?
- I'd started reading the Deltora Quest series by Emily Rodda because a mutual on Tumblr was a fan, they're that perfect middle grade quest fantasy you can finish reading in an hour or two. They're weirdly hard to find in the States--the author is Australian, which is probably part of it--but this links to the first book on Overdrive and from there you might find it at your library.
- The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West is a weird and depressing little romp and very much a household favourite (we have multiple copies, somehow). My partner loved it and I gave it a go and it fell neatly into a waiting slot of my brain.
- The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by S.A. Chakraborty was recommended by someone in my family Discord. It is an epic tale of getting the gang back together and following quests and pirates and demons and badasses and just all that one would want in a swashbuckling adventure tale.
Here are some places, found thanks to others.
ID: A photograph of the foot of a trail in a chaparral scrub desert. A path of coarse red dirt leads from the bottom of the image up a sloping hill, hidden by dense bushes of varying sage and greens. A weathered person-wide gate hangs open next to a bright red diamond of a sign that is studded with red reflectors. In the background is a swell of brush and low tree covered hills. End ID.
ID: A photograph of the hollow shell of a building, taken from the inside. The vertical format and perspective frame the image with grey concrete walls, covered in graffiti. Several trees grow against the walls, their branches reaching to create a sort of arbour in the absence of a roof. A row of low concrete rectangles that must have been the base for long-absent machinery give the impression of pews. End ID.
ID: A photograph of an ocean beach covered in a thin layer of water, making the line where the sand goes to surf invisible. The ground is a mirror for the clouds and the hard glare of a semi-obscured sun. In the far distance, a faint line of hills fades into mist and the sea. End ID.
- 1816 is a gorgeous comic from Kris Kukko and is 18+ but if you like orc type beings and queer romance, but also 19th century attire, drama, and intrigue, have a gander. It's beautifully rendered in black and white and just, a delight. The creator describes it as "Low action, heavy in conversation."
- This is a link to a PDF of a clothing repair guide from the University of Kentucky it's very plain language and straightforward, which is helpful if you've not given certain types (or any types!) of mending a try. It feels good to fix things.
- In The Stacks by Robin Sloan is a short story that is accompanied by a little web-based synthesiser. The story and the synth are both part of a new year project from Brand New Box a real delight of a thing for someone to conceptualise, make and share.
- Art Sqool by Glanderco is fun and strange and encourages play, it's like doodling a little.
I'm still donating eSims when I can, this guide was very helpful, and Crips for eSims for Gaza is a good option if you can't easily manage topping them up. There are also more traditional donation targets like the Palestine Children's Relief Fund, UNRWA, and Doctors Without Borders. If you prefer giving directly to families, Gaza Funds is a nice resource that facilitates finding campaigns.