- - - #### May 22, 2026 >The goal is not to ‘fix’ everything, to have a permanent transformation and everything just works now. It is to get better. It is to make things _easier_ on yourself. You will never be at a point where you never have problems ever again with getting things done. That is not a failure of the self, of our skills, of our efforts. It is just what we’re working with." >~Colin Spacetwinks from [ADHD Tips, tricks, and techniques](https://spacetwinks.itch.io/spacetwinks-adhd) It took me a while to read it (because ADHD), but I really loved the above! >I'm gonna be real with you, chat, it's not looking good. [Does this article not say it all](https://thehardtimes.net/blog/opinion-i-know-were-living-in-a-terrifying-fascist-hellscape-but-i-really-need-that-pitch-deck-by-noon/) (titled: *Opinion: I Know We’re Living in a Terrifying Fascist Hellscape, but I Really Need That Pitch Deck by Noon* by Ben Friedman). ^^^ This was from March 9 and baby, past me didn't even know it was gonna get worse. But we're out of the worst semester of my life which I could NOT see a way out of so there's a reason to celebrate! I can't really remember why I had a lot of things I saved, so I'm just sharing things and hopefully a thought about them at some point. I've been avoiding it since the last one because it feels like too much time has passed but I've been getting too precious about creating things, to the point where they just stay stuck in my head, so I'm gonna chuck some stuff out here and see what happens. >"Art is where what we survive survives." >~Kaveh Akbar, ["The Palace"](https://www.newyorker.com/books/poems/kaveh-akbar-the-palace) ## 1. Poetry I don't have a whole bunch to say here. I'm taking my time getting back into writing (I've gotten two workshop rejections!) and reading poems is always a great idea. - [POEMS FOR THE START OF A NEW DECADE by Kayleb Rae Candrilli](https://www.peachmgzn.com/kayleb-rae-candrilli): I [read Candrilli's](https://www.krcandrilli.com/) third collection, [*Winter of Worship*](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/winter-of-worship-kayleb-rae-candrilli/1144973177) , in February and they just never miss for me if we're being honest. - [America by Solmaz Sharif](https://harpers.org/archive/2019/04/america-solmaz-sharif/) - [Childhood by Meghan Elizabeth Kelley](https://frozensea.org/meghan-elizabeth-kelley) - [Say It, Say It Anyway You Can by Vievee Francis](https://rattle.com/say-it-say-it-anyway-you-can-by-vievee-francis/): (content warning for sexual abuse) - [100 Bells by Tarfia Faizullah](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/57750/100-bells): (content warning for sexual abuse) - [maya slmh poem on instagram](https://www.instagram.com/p/DWzyXDQj9WV/) ## 2. The musicals man *content warning for talk around sexual abuse* They've had a hold on me. (This isn't new.) I tried to get into the newer musicals a few years ago and after hating *Dear Evan Hansen*[^3] and not understanding what the HELL was going on in *SIX*[^4], I just decided I was at the age where I can't meet the youngins at their obsession anymore. Reader, if you see a 1k raise in views and listens to [SIX on Broadway](https://youtu.be/3s0TybjFFDo), it's because of me. My girlfriend found an animatic and we watched it together and I regret to say it's bops. Like, BOPS. And it's only an hour! [All You Wanna Do performed by Samantha Pauly](https://youtu.be/of3Zo1LqOoU) is actually one of the most devastating performances I've seen in a minute and knowing that her character is kind of built around Britney Spears and Ariana Grande sits in my gut. I feel like everyone knows about Britney Spears basically just trying to survive her life, but with Ariana Grande, aside from *Wicked*, the one thing that sticks in my mind about her is how the deacon at Aretha Franklin's funeral touched her and the fear in her face. For reasons I won't get into, this song hits me harder than most and if you go in, be careful. The entire plot took a turn that I wasn't expecting and I really enjoyed it. LOVE OF MY LIFE[^2] Audra Mcdonald and the cast of Gypsy [performed at Tiny Desk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqSYVWHAPQQ&list=RDKqSYVWHAPQQ&start_radio=1) and I cannot impress upon you how much I personally deserve this story with a black woman and black daughters. I DESERVE THIS SO MUCH. Performers include: Danny Burnstein: Herbie Joy Woods: Louise (SING OUT, LOUISE!) Jordan Tyson: June Lesli Margherita: Tessie Tura Lili Thomas: Mazeppa Mylinda Hull: Electra ## 3. Working on my site One of the reasons I avoid updating my website is because I hate having to update every single page with my sidebar. WELL NO LONGER MY FRIENDS! Earlier this week I finally found the [code I'm looking for](https://solaria.neocities.org/guides/jsmenutut) made [by Solaria](https://solaria.neocities.org/) and now I don't worry about having another idea or updating another one because I can just add it to ONE page and it updates them ALL! I know we all beef with javascript (I don't know this but I hear it a lot) but I am ETERNALLY thankful. ## 4. [OBSIDIAN](https://obsidian.md/), MY BELOVED I had lost the ability to sync my workspaces [on Obsidian](https://obsidian.md/) til like last month and apparently Obsidian is a huge reason I get anything done outside of school. - [mint shared the link](https://taniyn.quest/Mint) for the [Elysian (Disco Elysium inspired) theme](https://community.obsidian.md/themes/elysian) and I LOVE IT - I started using [the Rewarder plugin](https://www.obsidianstats.com/plugins/obsidian-rewarder) and it helps a lot! The to-do tasks move over from day to day and even though I don't really do the rewards yet (yes it'd be lovely to read five pages every time I do a task but then.......I'll read 80 pages and forget all the other tasks, so I wait til I get a few more done) ## 5. Other Media I've Enjoyed in the Past Five Months **Movies** - [Photocopier](https://letterboxd.com/theangerallihad/film/photocopier/): really love this movie. It can be pretty triggering for nonconsensual relationships/situations and the whole not being believed thing, but the ending was really solid for me and felt more accessible to a type of resolution than most stories that do this - [Watcher (rewatch)](https://letterboxd.com/theangerallihad/film/watcher/1/): LOVE this movie but also content warnings similar to the above, specifically being stalked - [The Rise: WNBA 2024; The Year That Changed Everything](https://letterboxd.com/film/the-rise-wnba-2024-the-year-that-changed/): have been a big WNBA fan since I was a kid, watching this right before [the 2026 season](https://www.wnba.com/schedule?season=2026&month=all) started was such a great idea and got me properly prepared for game day! **Television** - 4 Elements: [Earth was fun](https://www.serializd.com/show/The-Earth-287115)!, [Water was there](https://www.serializd.com/show/The-Water-287114), and now [we're in Air](https://www.serializd.com/show/The-Air-286069) and I'm enjoying it! I've liked the little bit I've seen of [the Fire couple](https://www.serializd.com/show/The-Fire-285992) and I'm excited for that too! - [Delete](https://www.serializd.com/show/Delete-218994): this never went the way I expected and I really enjoyed it - [Enemies with Benefits](https://www.serializd.com/show/Enemies-With-Benefits-307432): it's still running but I LOVE IT - From: We're only five episodes in and it's just getting bleaker and bleaker, what a masterpiece - [Girl Rules](https://www.serializd.com/show/Girl-Rules-278174): as a fictional MilkLove truther I have been STRUGGLING - [Hometown Romance](https://www.serializd.com/show/Hometown-Romance-312583): the finale is this weekend but it's SO SWEET and I want more thai gl romcoms (they're threatening to make a mess out of nothing this last episode but I'm ignoring that) - [Player](https://www.serializd.com/show/Player-291459): I liked this so much more than expected and I need y'all to understand that Pun (played by Ice) is hilarious - [Pluribus](https://www.serializd.com/show/Pluribus-225171): I'm still like a billion episodes behind but that first episode let me know this is really about to be my shit - [School Spirits](https://www.serializd.com/show/School-Spirits-208397): literally what are they going to do?! I really like this one and the soundtrack never misses for me - [Something Very Bad is Going to Happen](https://www.serializd.com/show/Something-Very-Bad-Is-Going-to-Happen-259265): yes. fucked up and also yes. - [The Hunting Party](https://www.serializd.com/show/The-Hunting-Party-247723): still pretty solid after the first season **Games** - [The Big Con](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1139280/The_Big_Con/): I've had this for year and never played it but played it in one day and just had a really good time - [Dosa Divas](https://store.steampowered.com/app/2950710/Dosa_Divas/): [Melanated Game Kitchen](https://melanatedgamekitchen.itch.io/) gave me a key so I could play for game club and I LOVE THIS GAME. I never thought I'd be a fan of turn-based RPGS (it feels like math under pressure) but I had so much fun! I adore the story (which is saying something because food-centered stories can be really bad for me) and I finished it in three days. I honestly may have finished quicker if my uterus wasn't plotting against me and I wasn't still finishing a homework assignment/recovering from school. - [Dustborn](https://store.steampowered.com/app/721180/Dustborn/): I didn't know this was like, a super involved game. I'm about 2/5's of the way through (I made that number up) and I'm enjoying it, but also they have stressed me out significantly more than I expected **Books** - [It Came From the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror edited by Joe Vag](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/f04f86a2-ca01-470a-b232-7f8383fa9088): A year in the making I FINISHED and I really enjoyed it and hope to get it in paperback so I can write a whole bunch of notes in it (thank goodness for libraries) - The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins (reread): still fucks, heavily - [The Low, Low Woods by Carmen Maria Machado and illustrated by ] - [No One Else Can Have You by Kathleen Hale (reread)](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/0e86c742-334c-4284-a531-6faad896c98e): I read this years ago and it still cracks me up because why is Kippy like that - [Punk Rock Karaoke by Bianca Xunise]: BIPOC punks!! YES!! I love it!! - [The True True Story of Raja the Gullible (and His Mother) by Rabih Alameddine](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/a7f1d113-60ae-4108-a4c8-d4aaf7cb19f0): recommended by co-creator of [Spirit Swap: Lo-Fi Beats to Match-3 To](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1592170/Spirit_Swap_Lofi_Beats_to_Match3_To/) (one of my absolute favorite games which I will mention every time that I say the game's name), I really love this book. The author is a great storyteller and it also made me realize I have to read a lot more books of older adults and people outside the United States - ## Odds & Ends - Hybrid Decker Zine: I think y'all know [I LOVE Decker](https://internet-janitor.itch.io/decker)[^1] (it's where I made [*capitalism cannot last*](https://wenotfreeyet.itch.io/capitalism-cannot-last) for [Fuck Capitalism Game Jam 2024](https://itch.io/jam/fuck-capitalism-jam-2024)) and [Milly Squilly](https://micpp.itch.io/) made a template where you can make an 8-page zine in Decker that you can host online AND print. [There was a jam](https://itch.io/jam/hybrid-decker-zine-jam) that I missed because user error but one I really loved was [I hope this is an uncontroversial take on cancel culture.](https://dedjesta.itch.io/cancel-culture) [by DedJesta!](https://dedjesta.itch.io/) - [ChoiceBeat Issue 16](https://willyelektrix.itch.io/choicebeat-issue-16): I just love this magazine. They focus on interactive fiction and that is just so fully my shit, I enjoy every issue - Check whether your site is [accessible with this site](https://vole.wtf/go/)! (You can check other things, but that's the one I care about at the moment) - [YURI MAGAZINE VOL. 2 by catreturn](https://catreturn.itch.io/yuri-magazine-vol-2): Yuri overshadowed and deeply informed/shaped by one's struggle with God, if that's not me-coded, I just don't know what is. - [Florida baby ‘born twice’ after elaborate surgery involving partial delivery] by [Ramon Antonio Vargas](https://www.theguardian.com/profile/ramon-antonio-vargas): shared because I'm still in awe that a black woman and her child were treated with such care and I need this as a reminder that it's possible Destroy the systems that seek to destroy you and build something kinder in it's place! ### [A Pan**ic Play by Serina Estrada](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hyK8ijAcyQ&list=LL&index=11) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hyK8ijAcyQ&list=LL&index=11 Got to go to this play premiering at a Covid Cautious media festival last month! MORE COVID CAUTIOUS ACTIVITIES PLEASE [^1]: Check out [Phinxel's Phield Notes](https://ahmwma.itch.io/phield-notes) if you're going to get started. IT'S SO GOOD! [^2]: out of infinity it's fine [^3]: actually turns out I hated Ben Platt's version. Jordan Fisher, however? I MUST PROTECT MY SON [^4]: If we're being honest, this was my own fault. I think I went simply by fans' making tiktoks uploaded to Youtube and didn't try to understand the plot at all and chalked it up to another Hamilton.