all 53 eras tour surprise song duos ranked
I did not go to the Eras Tour because I DIDN’T WANT TO! I mean, I did want to. But not badly enough to actually try getting tickets. That’s kind of my whole philosophy re: Taylor Swift. I’m not a Swiftie. I am so, so disloyal. I’m a snake. I am nice to her when she is nice to my ears, and I am mean to her the rest of the time. Here, I’ll prove it:
I love Taylor Swift and Speak Now due to nostalgia. I love Fearless because it’s actually good. Red is a perfect album that is also incredibly boring. 1989 is insufferable and self-indulgent, with exactly one good song tucked away on the deluxe version, but it’s not bad, per se. Reputation is awful, but at least it knows it’s awful. I thought Lover was okay when it came out, but now I think it’s actually kind of mediocre; 1989 and Reputation just buried the bar underground. Folklore is the second-best album of 2020. Evermore is probably in the Top 15. MIDnights is just Reputation again, but almost entirely devoid of self-awareness. There. Clearly, I am the kind of unbiased observer you want for this endeavor.
Anyway, for those unaware, Taylor Swift set aside two slots in the 45-song setlist of her three-and-a-half-hour Eras show so that she can cycle through the rest of the songs in her discography that weren’t important enough to make the main setlist. Because she has so many goddamn songs. Both surprise songs are acoustic solos (unless a special guest shows up) — one with Swift on guitar, and the other on piano, except for the time her piano got rained on and then haunted by a ghost. No one knows what the songs are until she starts playing them. This is one of the reasons I did not want to chance the Eras Tour. Because what if I spent an obscene amount of money, traveled for hours, endured the Reputation portion of the concert, and then she didn’t play surprise songs I liked?
The tour has not actually concluded yet, but it’s donezo in the United States for now, and she’s taking a break for like a month before the international leg. So I thought this was as good a time as any to be a HATER. That’s what I’d name my seventh studio album.
Author’s note: If I compliment a song that has been rerecorded, I am referring to the original. You’ll not catch me speaking positively of the new “Haunted” reverb.
#53: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” + “Everything Has Changed” (Seattle, Night One)
One of these songs is evil, and one of these songs has an Ed Sheeran feature. Ed Sheeran wasn’t there, but that won’t magically make “Everything Has Changed” good. Like a lot of Red, it’s terminally boring. It’s still better than “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”, though, which is my least favorite Taylor Swift song of all time. I know it’s about Kim and Kanye, but it’s so obnoxious and condescending and yet unbothered that I feel guilty when I listen to it. It also came out about six years after the titular phrase had gotten old in most corners of the internet, which, to put it in perspective, would be like if she released a song today called “Why Weren’t You At Elf Practice?”
#52: “Question…?” + “Invisible” (Foxborough, Night Three)
THERE ARE NO GOOD SONGS ON MIDNIGHTS, AND THERE ARE NO GOOD SONGS CALLED “INVISIBLE.”
#51: “Out of the Woods” + “Fifteen” (Nashville, Night Two)
I HATE “OUT OF THE WOODS” I’M SORRY. I hate the looping yodeling that I just know Jack Antonoff thought was abject genius, I hate Taylor Swift’s C Major Era, (she used to be an F girl like me. Traitor) and I hate Harry Styles for inspiring this forest fire. Justice for the person they vehicularly manslaughtered.
And “Fifteen” is a disaster. It has always been a disaster. It’s my sole skip on the standard edition of Fearless. It gave me so many misconceptions about high school. I’m genuinely shocked she didn’t try to rewrite the line about how her best friend Abigail “gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind”, since the target of “Better Than Revenge” is no longer better known for the things that she does on the mattress (whoa-oh).
#50: “Message In a Bottle” + “Tied Together With a Smile” (Seattle, Night Two)
Oh, Red vault tracks, I don’t like any of you. No, not even that one. It kills me to say this, but fucking The Police have a better song called “Message In a Bottle.” “Tied Together With a Smile” is a Taylor Swift song about a high school friend with an eating disorder, so I am inclined to grade it on a curve, but I don’t find it very musically interesting. And yet, somehow, it’s the best surprise song she played in Seattle, during a weekend that she described on Instagram as “genuinely one of [her] favorite[s] ever.” Sadistic!
#49: “Sad Beautiful Tragic” + “Ours” (Arlington, Night One)
“Sad Beautiful Tragic” is the most boring Taylor Swift song of all time, and she put it on the standard edition of an album. (Three guesses which one!) It is not a deluxe track, or a vault track. “Ours” is okay.
#48: “You All Over Me” + “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” (Chicago, Night Two)
Two snoozefests. But hey, Maren Morris actually showed up to sing her part on “You All Over Me”, which is more than I can say for Zayn.
#47: “Getaway Car” + “Maroon” (East Rutherford, Night One)
“Getaway Car”, if I may damn it by faint praise, is one of the best songs on Reputation. “Maroon” is… one of the songs on Midnights.
#46: “I Know Places” + “King of My Heart” (Inglewood, Night Five)
Inglewood always up to no good.
#45: “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” + “Mine” (Nashville, Night Three)
From a sonic perspective, I really cannot stand “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve.” I think it’s totally incongruous with the lyrics, to the point where I had an easier time connecting emotionally a midwest emo cover from TikTok. (No, I can’t find it now, because I refuse to join TikTok. But trust me.) “Mine” is a classic, though.
#44: “Welcome to New York” + “Clean” (East Rutherford, Night Three)
You see what I mean? What if I drove to New Jersey and she played me her bad song about New York? And then the second song was also from 1989? Actually, “Clean” is okay. For a “Your Love Is My Drug” knockoff. Like, at least it’s knocking off something immaculate. This is actually the second time she’s played it as a surprise song, but she paired it with something much better the first time.
#43: “Ivy” + “Call It What You Want” (Cincinnati, Night Two)
As you’d expect of an Evermore song, “Ivy” is pretty great. And as you’d expect of a Reputation song, “Call It What You Want” is godawful. Unfortunately, the godawfulness wins out here.
#42: “Stay Stay Stay” + “All Of the Girls You Loved Before” (Santa Clara, Night Two)
“Stay Stay Stay” is a chipper little unskippable YouTube ad of a song about a tumultuous relationship that occasionally descends into mild violence, and endures simply because the narrator loves her partner because they “have given [her] no choice.” It’s the most interesting thing on Red.
“All Of the Girls You Loved Before” was cut from Lover because um. It’s bad? It’s just “Thank U, Next” from the perspective of whoever Ariana Grande’s current partner is at any given time. It even sounds like an Ariana Grande song.
#41: “Begin Again” + “Cold As You” (Houston, Night Three)
What a strange order to play these in. For context, “Begin Again” is Boring Song From Red No. 726, and “Cold As You” is the very first Track Five. “Begin Again” is an optimistic song about a new potential new relationship; “Cold As You” is a quiet condemnation of a cruel ex. And it is not the worst Track Five, as the explanatory Vulture article I linked claims.
#40: “The Great War” + “You’re On Your Own, Kid” (Tampa, Night Two)
Two Midnights songs!! My worst nightmare!!!! This is a relatively painless combination, all things considered. I don’t like “You’re On Your Own, Kid”, (again, “Cold As You” is not the worst Track Five) but “The Great War” is probably the least awful song on the 3am edition, and co-writer Aaron Dessner even showed up to perform it with her!
#39: “High Infidelity” + “Gorgeous” (Atlanta, Night Two)
In a battle between my two least favorite albums, the Reputation song is lying on the cold hard ground before the Midnights song is even over.
#38: “I Can See You” + “Maroon” (Inglewood, Night One)
I love “I Can See You”, and OH MY GOD IT’S FUCKING “MAROON” AGAIN. I AM WRITING THIS ARTICLE IN REAL TIME AND SHE IS REPEATING MIDNIGHTS SONGS ABORT ABORT ABORT.
#37: “Speak Now” + “Treacherous” (Tampa, Night One)
I’ll be honest, I never liked “Speak Now” that much. Crashing a wedding because you’re in love with the groom is the kind of high drama that merits a power ballad, not this bubbly little nothing of a song. And it’s the one the album is named after???? It should be called Enchanted.
“Treacherous” is the third song on Red, and when I first previewed it on iTunes in 2012, (I know) I remember thinking, “That was kind of slow and boring. I hope the rest of the album isn’t like that.”
#36: “Our Song” + “You Are In Love” (Inglewood, Night Two)
“Our Song” is an all-time great from Taylor Swift; “You Are In Love” is the worst 1989 bonus track. It’s Red levels of slow, and it’s about JACK ANTONOFF AND LENA DUNHAM, who have been broken up for over five years, and one of whom is LENA DUNHAM.
#35: “Our Song” + “Snow on the Beach” (Las Vegas, Night One)
INSCRUTABLE pairing. I think “Snow on the Beach” might actually be the better song sonically, but the lyrics are so fucking bad. When will she give “Our Song” a good partner?
#34: “Holy Ground” + “False God” (East Rutherford, Night Two)
One of the best songs on Red, and one of the worst songs on Lover. The album version of “False God” is saved from outright badness by a saxophone part that’s… well, I wouldn’t say it’s good, but it is saxophone. Obviously, she did not incorporate that into her solo piano rendition.
#33: “Jump Then Fall” + “The Lucky One” (Arlington, Night Three)
An okay Fearless bonus track and a Red song with an actual beat. I’ll allow it.
#32: “I Bet You Think About Me” + “How You Get the Girl” (Atlanta, Night Three)
“I Bet You Think About Me” is a pretty good cover of “Piano Man.” “How You Get the Girl” is a pretty good song by 1989 standards.
#31: “Death By a Thousand Cuts” + “You’re On Your Own, Kid” (Inglewood, Night Three)
Now you see, the folly of this endeavor is that sometimes I am confronted with pairings like this. Sometimes there is a song from my own personal top ten, and then there is “You’re On Your Own, Kid.” Again. But I am not ranking songs individually; I am ranking them in twos. And I have to be like, “Do I love ‘Death By a Thousand Cuts’ enough to elevate ‘You’re On Your Own, Kid’? Or do I hate ‘You’re On Your Own, Kid’ enough to justify slandering ‘Death By a Thousand Cuts?’” There have already been many casualties, as you’ve seen, but this is “Death By a Thousand Cuts” we’re talking about here. I sentence this duo to Top 30 exclusion.
#30: “Never Grow Up” + “When Emma Falls In Love” (Kansas City, Night One)
Sure.
#29: “Dear John” + “Daylight” (Minneapolis, Night Two)
HOW LONG WAS THIS FUCKING SHOW? “Dear John” clocks in at almost seven minutes, and it’s. I mean, it’s “Dear John.” Which was very lyrically cutting in 2010, but now it’s just like, “Yeah, John Mayer, hate that guy, fucked up how he started Dead & Company even though he didn’t know the Grateful Dead until he heard 'Althea' on Pandora in 2011, we get it, give her back her girlhood, it was hers first.” It was musically cutting never. “Daylight” is almost five minutes long. I’ll never understand artists who end albums with ambling slow songs. Barring abject greatness, they’re destined to be skips.
#28: “Mr. Perfectly Fine” + “The Last Time” (Pittsburgh, Night One)
“The Last Time” is another nothing Red track (I like Snow Patrol, but Gary Lightbody’s feature couldn’t save it) that’s essentially a proto-“Exile.” My hot take on vault tracks is that so far, each rerecording has had exactly one that’s actually worthwhile. Red’s is obviously the ten-minute version of “All Too Well”, "Speak Now’s is “I Can See You”, and Fearless’ is “Mr. Perfectly Fine”, the funniest Taylor Swift song of all time.
#27: “Picture to Burn” + “Timeless” (Denver, Night One)
“Picture to Burn” is timeless, I agree.
#26: “All You Had to Do Was Stay” + “Breathe” (Detroit, Night Two)
“COLD AS YOU” IS NOT THE WORST TRACK FIVE. “Breathe” is doing all the legwork here. “Breathe” should’ve been Fearless’ Track Five, actually. “White Horse” makes me roll my eyes harder with every passing year, but “Breathe” can still knock the wind out of me if I listen at the right time.
#25: “Should’ve Said No” + “Better Man” (Foxborough, Night One)
Ah, “Should’ve Said No”, the first Taylor Swift song I ever loved. The reason we’re all in this mess. “Better Man” is a Red vault track that she gifted to country band Little Big Town before recording it herself. Theirs… is better.
#24: “Starlight” + “Back to December” (Denver, Night Two)
“Starlight” is one of the only songs on the back half of Red that does anything for me at all. It has some hoo-hoo-hoos behind the guitar solo that I think are fun and that she of course didn’t perform live. A lot of people really like “Back to December”, but I think it’s a better song lyrically than musically. And I tend to grade musically.
#23: “A Place in This World” + “Today Was a Fairytale” (Houston, Night Two)
My biggest complaint about the Eras Tour is that Taylor Swift’s very first era, circa her self-titled 2006 album, is not spotlighted. The only way you’re getting classics like “Our Song” and “Picture to Burn” is if she takes pity on you and makes them surprise songs. And I really loved “A Place in This World” back in the day. “Today Was a Fairytale” is… not that good, but it has a nostalgia factor that can’t be denied.
#22: “I Wish You Would” + “The Lakes” (Chicago, Night One)
Do you guys think she got to Chicago, saw Lake Michigan, and went, “Finally… I can play it”? Yes!
#21: “Mad Woman” + “Mean” (Tampa, Night Three)
“Mad Woman” isn’t one of my personal faves from Folklore, but luckily, its producer/co-writer Aaron Dessner showed up to play piano for her! And I love “Mean”! I love it for the exact same reason I hate “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.” No, there’s no logic. But whenever I hear “Mean” I’m just like, “Aww, Taylor, you noticed!”
#20: “Cowboy Like Me” + “White Horse” (Las Vegas, Night Two)
“And the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing,” begins one of the weirder songs on Evermore, which was a weird album to begin with (compliment). Marcus Mumford did backing vocals on the studio version, and he actually showed up onstage to reprise his role and give her a guitar assist. As a goof, she followed that up with “White Horse” — a very straightforward breakup song from Fearless that simply happens to mention horses.
#19: “I Think He Knows” + “Red” (Foxborough, Night Three)
“I Think He Knows”, like most of Lover, is a HOT MESS. And I love it. “Red” is “Red.” I’m honestly shocked it’s not part of the regular setlist. Oh wait, it’s because we all deluded ourselves into thinking the ten-minute version of “All Too Well” is better than the original, just because she teased it for nine years. She should go back to playing the shorter version to make room for “Red.” That’s a good idea that would definitely anger no one.
#18: “Dress” + “Exile” (Inglewood, Night Four)
Here we have another “Death By a Thousand Cuts”/“You’re On Your Own Kid” conundrum, because “Dress” is bad, and it’s not even bad in an interesting, excruciating way. You listen to it, you’re like, “That was bad!” and then you never think about it again. But “Exile” completely blew me away the first time I listened to Folklore — it’s what made me understand the hype after classifying the first three tracks as merely pretty good. It’s a duet, so I thought the absence of noted recluse Justin Vernon from Bon Iver would’ve been a detriment, but she actually managed his low notes pretty well.
#17: “Wonderland” + “You’re Not Sorry” (Houston, Night One)
1989 is turning nine this October, and every few years or so, I come around on one of the non-hits. Most recently, it was “Wonderland”, because the way she sings it is just so scary and weird. And “You’re Not Sorry” is from Fearless, so. I rest my case.
#16: “Last Kiss” + “Dorothea” (Kansas City, Night Two)
Just a nice set of B+ tier songs, which is the most I’d have hoped for if I’d bought tickets.
#15: “Paper Rings” + “If This Was a Movie” (Minneapolis, Night One)
Love the opposing themes here.
#14: “The Other Side of the Door” + “Coney Island” (Atlanta, Night One)
WITH YOUR FACE AND THE BEAUTIFUL EYES AND THE CONVERSATION WITH THE LITTLE WHITE LIES AND THE FADED PICTURE OF A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT YOU. CARRIED ME FROM YOUR CAR UP THE STAIRS AND I BROKE DOWN CRYING WAS SHE WORTH THIS MESS AFTER EVERYTHING AND THAT LITTLE BLACK DRESS AFTER EVERYTHING I MUST CONFESS I NEED YOU.
Oh, and there’s an Evermore song in there, too!
#13: “Forever & Always” + “This Love” (Philadelphia, Night Two)
I love “Forever & Always” very much. It’s another catchy, incisive slaughter of one Joseph Jonas that everyone at your local karaoke bar will lose their minds to. But. Um. This show was on May 13th. Right before Taylor played the song, she said it was a birthday present for her friend Lena. Heartbreaking: The worst person you know just made a great song request.
And on all levels except lyrical, “This Love” is a Christian rock song. No, really, listen to it. Pretend the guy is Jesus, and Taylor is the bride of Christ, and you’re thirteen years old, hearing the song in a Vampire Diaries fanvid somebody made in Windows Movie Maker. So. Needless to say, I don’t really like it. You only need one “This Love.”
#12: “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” + “Evermore” (Cincinnati, Night One)
A debut song I love/Evermore song I’m fine with combo.
#11: “Hey Stephen” + “The Best Day” (Philadelphia, Night Three)
IMAGINE GETTING TWO (2) FEARLESS STANDARD EDITION TRACKS.
#10: “Haunted” + “I Almost Do” (Detroit, Night One)
Ah, “I Almost Do”, the “If This Was a Movie” of Red. No, really, listen to them back-to-back. They’re the the same song. And “Haunted” is one of the best songs on Speak Now.
#9: “Mirrorball” + “Tim McGraw” (Glendale, Night One)
This was the very first show, so it makes sense that “Tim McGraw”, her very first single, would show up here. I don’t really like “Tim McGraw”, (or the song) but I’d be remiss not to acknowledge its impact. “Mirrorball” is from Folklore, (read: good) and these were ideal circumstances for its live debut — it’s about how she feels constantly compelled to entertain, even when there’s a global pandemic and she literally can’t, because she doesn’t know how else to help. It’s very meta.
#8: “Gold Rush” + “Come Back… Be Here” (Philadelphia, Night One)
God, “Gold Rush” is good. “Come Back… Be Here” is fine, as is the nature of Red deluxe tracks. But it’s better than I remember. Philly made out like bandits.
#7: “Hits Different” + “The Moment I Knew” (Chicago, Night Three)
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA. DO YOU HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST NOTION OF HOW DIFFICULT THIS WOMAN MADE MY LIFE FOR SEVEN (7) MONTHS. Okay, so Midnights is ass. Bad album. Sucks. Hate. Write-off. EXCEPT. Except she miraculously pulled this all-time great, this opus, out of her stupid, insomniac brain SOMEHOW. DO YOU GET IT. DO YOU GET IT IT’S CALLED “HITS DIFFERENT” BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY GOOD SONG ON THIS TRAINWRECK SO IT QUITE LITERALLY HITS DIFFERENT HAHA WOW LOL. QUEEN OF SELF-AWARENESS. She even wrote it in F. We are so fucking back. JUST KIDDING IT’S ONLY ON THE TARGET-EXCLUSIVE EDITION. STREAMING NOWHERE. YEAH, FUCK YOU, ASHTON. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR HATING 1989. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS INDEED. AND THEN WHEN IT’S FINALLY STREAMING, SHE PERFORMS IT IN CHICAGO, WHERE I HAD BEEN LESS THAN A MONTH PRIOR. WHAT DID CHICAGO DO TO DESERVE BOTH “HITS DIFFERENT” AND THE PANTS?
Um. And then “The Moment I Knew” is a nothing slow song from Red about how much it sucks when Jake Gyllenhaal doesn’t show up at your 21st birthday party.
#6: “Death By a Thousand Cuts” + “Clean” (Arlington, Night Two)
I don’t really care if something good happened to “Cruel Summer.” It should’ve happened to “Death By a Thousand Cuts” instead.
#5: “Sparks Fly” + “Teardrops On My Guitar” (Nashville, Night One)
I love “Sparks Fly.” “Teardrops On My Guitar” is vital and iconic. I don’t have that much else to say.
#4: “New Romantics” + “New Year’s Day” (Inglewood, Night Six)
Remember I said there was exactly one good song tucked away on the deluxe version of 1989? WELL. Obviously, it was the one she used to announce the 1989 rerecording’s release date. I can’t wait to hear how Jack Antonoff ruins it!
“New Year’s Day”, like “Getaway Car” before it, is one of the least awful songs on Reputation. It’s a good tour leg closer, or at least it would be, if there wasn’t a 25-minute Midnights set afterwards. In fairness, the line “I want your midnights” appears thrice.
#3: “Right Where You Left Me” + “Castles Crumbling” (Santa Clara, Night One)
I was so excited for “Castles Crumbling”, because Hayley Williams is here! They’re collaborating for the first time since they sang “That’s What You Get” together onstage in 2011! Hayley Williams is here specifically because Taylor Swift said she was listening to a lot of Paramore at the time of writing Speak Now, so it’ll probably be a really cool alt rock s- oh, it’s an acoustic ballad. Was she just listening to “We Are Broken”? Which is a way better song, by the way.
HOWEVER. “Right Where You Left Me” is my favorite Taylor Swift song of all time. I think. I waffle between this and “August” (a justifiable fixture of the main setlist) and the (so far) critically ignored “The Way I Loved You.” I told you I’m not loyal.
#2: “This Is Me Trying” + “State of Grace” (Glendale, Night Two)
“State of Grace” is my favorite U2 song song from Red, and (say it with me now) there are no bad songs on Folklore. Especially not A major yearning burnout anthem “This Is Me Trying.”
#1: “Seven” + “The Story Of Us” (Pittsburgh, Night Two)
The seventh (obviously) track from Folklore, “Seven”, is the best Taylor Swift’s voice has ever sounded. And Aaron Dessner is back! “The Story Of Us” is one of the Speak Now songs for which I am actually willing to die on a battlefield. It floored me when I was fourteen years old, and it still does. The end.
As is the frustrating nature of Taylor Swift, none of these pairings cross my perfection threshold. Only the top two came close. There are 93 shows left for that to change, though. I personally have extremely high hopes for Gelsenkirchen Night Three.