13 scary classical pieces to play on halloween so trick-or-treaters will know you're incredibly cultured
Consider this a companion piece. I’ve always tended to get more freaked out by classical music than by “HAUNTED HOUSE AMBIENCE (8 HOURS) SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SOUNDS 8 HOURS SCARY” because I have a refined palate am a weird nerd an asshole. A lot of it has to do with these two albums I had as a child: Bach: Great Organ Favorites as performed by E. Power Biggs; and Chiller, a compilation of scary music old and new, performed by the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra, conducted by Erich Kunzel. I have a specific memory of listening to Chiller during a thunderstorm. The lights were flickering nonstop, but the music was unaffected, and I was so terrified that the power was going to go that I still can’t hear the fourth movement of Symphonie Fantastique without getting anxious.
So naturally, I’ve spent the rest of my miserable life on the hunt for the scariest instrumentals on the market. And when I say “the rest of my miserable life”, I mean like, once a year for a few weeks. Every October. September occasionally. I often forget about this quest as soon as I hear “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” on November 1st, or whenever they start playing it. Which is weird, because there’s no shortage of scary Christmas music.
Anyway, if you want to assault the senses of trick-or-treaters, but can’t afford a Spirit Halloween animatronic, or feel you are above the likes of SPOOKY DARK HORROR SOUNDSCAPE (10 HOURS) SCARY FOR HALLOWEEN, look no further.
Due to a) the influence of the Bach album, b) my own… skill set, let’s call it, this is going to be a keyboard-heavy list. I have included every orchestral piece I could possibly think of.
IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING — GRIEG
Duh. You know this one, even if you don’t know it by name. I think it was my go-to answer to the dreaded Favorite Song question from the ages of seven to nine. Which was one of the rare periods of my life that I was not in therapy.
TOCCATA AND FUGUE IN D MINOR (TOCCATA) — BACH
The spooky pipe organ piece. You know this one, too.
NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN — MUSSORGSKY
A lengthy, but necessary inclusion.
DANSE MACABRE — SAINT-SAËNS
Doesn’t actually sound that scary, aside from the tritones at the beginning, but it is about a skeleton dance party in a graveyard.
ERLKÖNIG — SCHUBERT
There is a stupidly large quantity of umlauts in western classical music. Anyway, this is what happens when you let an eighteen-year-old Franz Schubert orchestrate a Goethe poem about an evil forest spirit vying for the soul of a child. Or about a child with a deadly fever hallucinating that an evil forest spirit is vying for his soul. The original (here it is animated) is for voice and piano, but I am partial to the solo piano arrangement by noted freak Franz Liszt. The Heinrich Ernst arrangement for violin is just impressive.
LITTLE FUGUE IN G MINOR — BACH
I find this much creepier than Toccata in D Minor.
PRELUDE IN C# MINOR — RACHMANINOFF
Rumor has it this is based on a nightmare Rachmaninoff had about going to an unspecified person’s funeral, opening the casket, and seeing his own corpse inside. And it certainly sounds alarming enough to imply as much. Especially in the Stokowski orchestration.
THE BANSHEE — COWELL
Bet you didn’t know a piano could make that noise.
FANTASIA AND FUGUE IN G MINOR (FUGUE) — BACH
One of the myriad reasons I could never be a musician is because I might have to do that Pitchfork Song I Wish I Wrote interview, and I’d say this.
DER DOPPELGÄNGER — SCHUBERT
Another spooky poem-based tale from Schubert, this one released posthumously. I heard it arranged for solo piano by Liszt before I even knew it had vocals.
PIANO SONATA NO. 6 — SCRIABIN
This is… one of the funniest pieces on this list. Not sonically — it’s incredibly unnerving — but if you are familiar with the legend that Scriabin was so afraid of it that he never performed it live, it’s hilarious. Alexander, you wrote the fucking thing. You had full control over how it sounded, buddy.
PASSACAGLIA AND FUGUE IN C MINOR (PASSACAGLIA) — BACH
A quietly, solemnly creepy palate cleanser for before you jumpscare yourself with…
CHARACTERS WITH LONG EARS — SAINT-SAËNS
This is the scariest piece of music ever composed. No, I’m not kidding. So Saint-Saëns wrote what was supposed to be a fun little suite depicting different types of animals, but he accidentally stuck 44 seconds of pure terror in the middle of it. This is what Camille here thinks a donkey sounds like. Like one showed up at his house and tried to stab him to death in the shower. What’s even creepier is that he doesn’t refer to the creature by name, especially since an earlier movement is called “Wild Asses.” (And that one just sounds suspiciously like a Chopin etude.) If a wild donkey and a character with long ears are discrete entities, then what the fuck is the latter?
Here is a convenient playlist of these pieces.