dear friends,

guess who's back after two months... moi.

i have a few good reasons why i disappeared for a while. as my reintroduction back to this newsletter, i'm going to share them with you.

here they are:

reason #1: re-evaluation

my vision for angel sandy was to share the spiritual insights i had been passionate about that no one was really talking about.

however, along the way, i was veering further away from them. i found myself talking about things outside of the niche i’d pigeonholed myself into—like my favorite scene from mad men, the type of candle wax i use, and the recent fake interview rick rubin had with jim morrison. they were just more fun to talk about.

i didn't want to admit it but i was seriously disconnected from the new age philosophies i had been sharing. ironically, these spiritual concepts that were meant to liberate people were sucking the life out of me.

i was also experimenting with different formats, like podcasting and making videos. i'm a media girlie at heart, but i was getting confused about who i was supposed to be. was i a spiritual prophet or just a regular internet personality? am i a blogger, a lecturer, or a content creator?

in other words, angel sandy went through an identity crisis and had to take a step back. she's still figuring out who she is, but i hope you'll be here for the ride as she evolves.

reason #2: fear and self-doubt

i do experience imposter syndrome. i've been wrestling with it for years, and i've sabotaged more passion projects than i can count. there are moments when my mind convinces me that everything i create is shit, and it's best if i just "throw in the towel." i tend to burn my projects to the ground when the self-doubt takes over. a month ago, i deleted all my youtube videos and podcast episodes because of it.

this has happened way too many times—it's ridiculous.

but at the end of the day, i'm still here. even if it knocks me down in the short term, i'm pretty determined not to let these fears win.

so if you ever see me in person and notice i haven’t been sending emails, call me out on it. it’s one of the reasons i’m writing one now.

reason #3: other projects

i mentioned in a previous post that i've been learning to play music. alongside this, i'm also learning french (bonjour!)

i also started running and doing yoga after not exercising for a year and a half. when you haven’t exercised for that long, it takes a while to bounce back.

learning new skills and getting back into fitness is time-consuming... and so is dealing with my creative existential angst.

a part from those, i had my 10-year high school and college reunion i organized. now that they're over, i can finally breathe and prioritize writing again.

reason #4: rebranding

angel sandy has a new look. you can check it out here. i've gone rogue and embraced the grayscale. you'll have to excuse me, i'm in my romantic era.

i've also been contemplating changing the name of my blog. i have two reasons: #1, i’m expanding to topics beyond spirituality, and #2, it's hard to curse when your name is angel sandy.

on the other hand, i don’t want to change the name at all. i love the name angel sandy. i’m a little undecided. if you have any input, let me know.

all in all, i'm glad to be back and the creative juice is flowing again. i have a few things lined up to write about. stay tuned in your inbox for them.

now for my recommendations...

📺 media consumption

• my 2024 spotify wrapped: even though everyone is noticing something off with spotify's analytics, i’m pretty satisfied with my line up. one of the best things about having a blog is that i get to overshare my interests. check it out.

• angel-A (2001): the movie that inspired angel sandy. it’s a fantasy romance about an ex-convict and a tall, hot woman who form an unusual friendship after meeting at the edge of a bridge. throughout the film, angel-a (the woman) casually helps andré (the man) with his money-crime issues without explanation, and he can’t understand why. though the ending is a bit of a cliché, it’s a moving piece about self-love.

• six feet under (2001-2005): the best shows are the ones with characters so effed up that you're uncomfortable with how relatable they are. six feet under is a series i'm watching on netflix about two brothers in the mortuary business. i haven’t watched a dramedy in a while that's this sardonic, dark, and right up my alley. the show won multiple awards, deservedly so. i've started writing my review and plan to publish it after i finish the series.

• what’s our problem? a self-help book for societies: written by tim urban from wait but why—a nerdy blog i was obsessed with in college. tim knows how to explain complex concepts in a fun, weird, and interesting way. i draw a lot of inspiration from his stick figure drawings and quirky prose. someone wrote a review calling him one of the greatest minds of our generation... and i’m not going to disagree.

that's it for me today, friends!! i'll talk to you again soon.
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xx
angel sandy

www.angelsandy.com