A Most Unreliable Narrator

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #49 Just won’t get out of bed to get to a doctor’s appointment

July 14, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #48 Caller’s American and Donald Trump flags were burned at dock

July 7, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #46 – 47: Caller was unable to lure the dog into his house with a turkey sandwich

June 29, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #45 “Baby momma” will not step away from the vehicle

June 15, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #44 Subject took too many edibles

June 9, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #43 Pig on the loose

June 3, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

A Most Unreliable Narrator Issue 23: Downcycling

May 29, 2021

Weight: 314.2Days since efficacy: 17Mood: there Same newsletter, different name: Decided to revert to the original newsletter name. While the plague rages...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #42 Large turtle in the middle of the road

May 25, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #22 Good Afternoon, internet!

May 22, 2021

Weight: 314.4Days since efficacy: 10Mood: Eurovisioned Good afternoon, internet! Lisa calling from downtown Louisville where it’s 90F/32C and I’m ensconced...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #41 Caller reports husband is cold to the touch

May 18, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #40 Caller found bones while mushrooming. (Deer bones.)

May 11, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the highlights....

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #21 What’s in a Name Part II

May 8, 2021

Weight: 313.0Days in lock down: 422Mood: filled with no bake cookies To pick up from last week: Our names are our currency.They tell the world who we are....

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #39 Horse ran into caller

May 5, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is located in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #20 What’s in a Name Part I

May 2, 2021

Weight: 314.6Days in lock down: 416Mood: contemplative The history behind wanting to change my name: In 2014, I made the massive and colossal mistake of...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #38 Neighbor’s dog keeps pooping in caller’s yard

April 27, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is located in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #37 Poultry at large. Warning issued.

April 21, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is located in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #19 I’ve Got Receipts

April 19, 2021

Weight: 316.4Days in lock down: 402Mood: Nostalgic For the last few weeks, I’ve migrated all of my website empire unto a single site. I ditched the profesh...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #37 Caller’s roommate padlocked caller inside the apartment

April 13, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is located in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #18 The Story of Chuck and His Creepy Son

April 10, 2021

Weight: 316.8Days in lock down: 394Mood: Rainy My therapist and I have decided it was time to start dragging up the past, getting a clarity and closure, and...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #36 Woman taking videos of kids outside

April 6, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is located in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #35 Found some questionable pictures/DVDs

March 30, 2021

Throbbing Cabin is located in Leelanau County whose local weekly newspaper, the Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #33 – 34 Miniature horses are at large

March 23, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #17 Tell Me All About Your Mother

March 21, 2021

Weight: 318.7Days in lockdown: One year + 8 daysMood: tired Then: First, welcome to all the new subscribers who came here from Links I Would Gchat You If We...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #16 A Frank Discussion on Being Fat Part 2

March 13, 2021

Weight: 320.8Days in lockdown: One year + one dayMood: Contemplative HousekeepingWhile I track my weight on my phone, I also thought it would be nice to...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #32 Caller wants to report her tires are again low on pressure

March 10, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #15 A Frank Discussion on Being Fat Part 1

March 6, 2021

Days in lockdown: 359Mood: Cheery with a touch of rage against the man This morning I weighed 322.8lbs. My highest weight was 338.3. The last time I weighed...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #31 Caller hit what he believes to be a bobcat

March 2, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #29 – 30 Subject refuses to leave the post office

February 23, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #14 Songs to sing when you make sandwiches

February 20, 2021

Days in lockdown: 345Mood: I have songs I sing when I do stuff so I reckon pretty good The business that owns the parking lot behind our building, which is...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #28 … does not want an officer to come to his residence because he does not trust anyone now

February 9, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #27 Group of people parked on the side of the road looking in a barn.

February 4, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #25 - 26 Paint cans in the middle of the road.

January 27, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #13 Britons v Romans

January 18, 2021

Days in lockdown: 311Mood: Stable and cheery Blah blah blah, remain stable, blah blah blah, doing well with daily life, blah blah blah, I’m sleeping at...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #24 Woman screaming

January 12, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #12 Tha thu sgoinneil!*

January 10, 2021

Days in lockdown: 303Mood: Pretty good! This week. Amirite? In an effort to be timelier with writing my weekly missives, I started several drafts this week...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #23 German Shepherd with a red collar keeps coming into the store.

January 5, 2021

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #11.25 Unpopular Opinion: I’m Not Paying For Your Newsletter

January 4, 2021

I’m going to strike the irony while it’s hot by complaining something in the very medium I’m complaining about.A few days ago, a newsletter I thought was...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #11 Wonderful Things

January 2, 2021

Days in lockdown: 293Mood: Slightly manic but with a touch of wonderEvery year for the last ten years, Linda Holmes, the beloved NPR pop culture critic, has...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #22 Caller says cows are starting to get rowdy

December 29, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #10: nothing’s changed; nothing could be wrong

December 26, 2020

Days in lockdown: 289Mental status: slight manic spikes with bouts of rage Christmas was completely and utterly underwhelming. Every year I try to do...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #21 Appears to be ice fishing

December 23, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #9: holiday ho ho ho

December 19, 2020

Days in lockdown: 282Mental status: Fine. (more or less) No one can ever use my bathroom. Ever. See, I hate cleaning our shower. It’s a fuck-me shower with...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #20 Someone stole caller’s snow plow

December 16, 2020

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #19 Someone stole caller’s snow plow Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper,...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears

December 12, 2020

Days in lockdown: 275Mental status: mental cycling I confessed to my therapist at our last session I had begun cycling again and I was overly exhausted...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #19 Caller’s cat is looking at him.

December 12, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #17/#18

December 2, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county’s (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

In the Year of our Lord of COVID Issue #7: Mix Tape

November 27, 2020

Days in lockdown: 260Mental status: Mostly good with a titch of SAD While we were isolating at the cabin, I cleaned out the remaining boxes of crap, about a...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #16 Injured fox in the roadway. Caller wrapped it in a blanket

November 17, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county's (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #15 Neighbors’ horses are outside of the fence

November 10, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county's (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...

Weekly Dispatch Blotter Highlights: Issue #14 Possible underaged “party at the port”

November 5, 2020

Every week, Leelanau county's (where our cabin is located) weekly newspaper, Leelanau Enterprise, publishes the dispatch calls to 911. These are the...