Dear ,
Thank you so much for being here, I know some of you joined a while ago and may even have forgotten about signing up as I am only just getting around to sending a newsletter.
I've been writing them all in my head to send to you for months, but life has just had other plans until now...
In this newsletter you'll find:
- An introduction to me and the format of the newsletter
- Sharing a resource that has inspired me/ got my brain fizzing about little ones hitting and what might be happening in their nervous systems - as well as reflecting on how our awareness of this can support us as parents/ caregivers
- Ways to work with me in the next few weeks
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Welcome to the Tender LIttle Beings Newsletter!
I'm so excited to start this conversation with you.
I'll share some more about me below, with links where you can learn more if you want to - but I know time is so precious when your life involves caring for tender little beings, so I want to share the format of this newsletter first so you can know what we're doing!
So having reigned my overexcited brain in (because I have far too many things I want to share with you) I have decided that I will share just one resource / learning / challenge or reflection in each newsletter.
These will be around topics relating to sleep, parenting, nervous system regulation, mindful feeding & supporting highly sensitive and/or neurodivergent parents and little ones.
I'll share this in both written & audio formats
For those who prefer or need to read / skim, there will be the written version in the email
An audio format - for those who prefer or need audio (and/or have their hands quite literally full of little beings and all things relating to their care).
I may also sometimes send you a private podcast style newsletter (in which case I can share the transcript for anyone who needs it).
I hope that these options can allow you to delve into the content in a way that works and feels supportive for you and your setup.
You can listen to this newsletter's audio version HERE.
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Hello! I'm Harriet
Below are some links to the website, where you can decide what level of info you'd like about me, my background and my approach, as well as the service that I offer to families and individuals.
Me & My work
My approach/ philiosophy
The different ways that I support families
I'm so excited to be starting this conversation with you and to share and learn together. You'll notice that my approach is not formal or polished - this isn't about flashiness, it's about humanness.
And it's particularly about recognising that just because this stuff feels hard, it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong!
So much of the short form hacks and tricks and tips that we are bombarded with make it seem like supporting vulnerable little humans (in a world that's on fire) should be easy - of course it's absolutely not!
And as you might see from my website or from getting to know me, I am not coming at any of this stuff as 'the expert'.
I'm very much a fellow explorer on this journey of trying to parent in the polycrisis, in ways that don't abandon our needs or our values.
I'd love to connect and collaborate, to find ways to make parenting/ caregiving as sustainable, aligned and joyful as it can be for you and your family.
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Proprioception
A missing piece of the puzzle when children are hitting
I recently attended an online conference around sensory processing in children, and there was one piece I learned that has been impacting my parenting every single day since.
This was from an occupational therapist (@occuplaytional on instagram - Kelsie Olds), and is helpfully clipped right here:
3 forms of proprioception
Kelsie explains that when children (and adults) are feeling 'dysregulated'*, they need to regulate their nervous system and this will often mean 'proprioception'. And this may sound complicated but I promise it's actually really simple and SO important!
What is 'Proprioception'?
This is one of our additional senses that often get forgotten (along with vestibular and interoceptive - I am sure we'll explore them soon!) It basically means awareness of our body in the space that it's in.
The clip highlights three main categories of proprioception - Exertion, Impact and Pressure.
There are 3 huge shifts that I have noticed from this learning, and that I want to invite for all of us in terms of what this lens of proprioception can offer us. I will share these and will share an example of how that's been showing up in my personal parenting the last few weeks.
1. These aren't 'bad behaviours', but instead the external expression of a need within the nervous system.
Example: My son is hitting quite often at the moment - particularly me.
And I know that this is either when he is frustrated or overly excited, but cultural conditioning causes such strong associations of these behaviours with 'aggression' and 'naughtiness'. Having the understanding that these responses have a purpose and meet a need takes so much heat out of it - which in turn makes me show up in a softer way, that allows for more connection instead of adding more dysregulation* to the situation.
2. It's not personal
Example: As the primary caregiver, I definitely get the most of this 'impact' style regulation focused at me (ie I get hit a lot/ the most).
And at times I would start to feel hurt and sad about this. But I realise it's not because he feels negatively towards me. In fact, it's likely that he feels safest regulating his nervous system with me. This allows me to show up more open-hearted - and also ready to block hits to the face!
3. Practical implications
Example: I now think about ways to support this proprioceptive regulation and this impact has shown up in two distinct ways: reactively and proactively.
Reactively: I can now notice when this is happening (when he is hitting or running around or throwing himself on our armchair or squishing his face super hard into mine) and take this as a moment to remind myself what is happening. I then try to step back to observe and be curious about it, usually allowing me to be more regulated and present. I also recognise that there are different options of the type of proprioceptive input - so when there is hitting happening I've previously been offering squeezes and tight hugs (pressure) to support regulation, but if that's not seeming to be supportive in that moment I can redirect the need for impact or exertion in a safer way.
Proactively: I know before bed we have a bit of a surge of this kind of excited stress arousal (part of the 'wake maintenance zone' - geeky sleep stuff!) and so I often play with his so he can throw his body onto the bed (impact) or he likes to 'run laps' (exertion). I also know the signs that this kind of dysregulation is building and I'm becoming more attuned to those and offering proprioceptive input sooner in the stress build up. I also know to keep my dog away from him wherever possible if the build up has gotten away from me, in order to keep them both safe.
I also offer myself some more proprioceptive input these days, such as squeezing down my arms (also part of a practice that I share in The Resilience Toolkit).
OK Phewph! that is quite a lot of info in a short(ish) space...
Here are some prompts in case they feel supportive:
- Think about where you notice this showing up for your little one(s)
- What kind of proprioceptive (or other sensory) input do they respond well to?
- Are there ways that you could offer / integrate some proprioceptive input throughout the day?
- Are there any ways that you notice this show up for you? Can you offer yourself some proprioceptive goodness?
How does that all land? If you've got any thoughts or questions I'd love to connect - you can send me a reply to this email.
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*'dysregulated' is not my favourtie description for various reasons that I'll share at a later point. However I think it's a helpful shorthand for understanding/ describing a higher stress state.
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Each newsletter I'll share how you can work with me in the coming weeks.
All offers have a Solidarity (concession) rate for anyone that needs it.
🌿 1:1 Support
Sleep Support - Responsive Sleep Support that works for your family.
I have 2 spaces for sleep clients currently. Click on the link to learn more.
Connection-Based Parent Coaching - Space for you to be held in your parenting journey. I have space for 2 Parent Coaching clients.
Mindful Feeding Support - Tender support in your feeding journey at any stage and age. I have space for 2 mindful feeding clients, and there is a free 1:1 community support slot available on Wednesday mornings.
Newborn Preparation - The stuff I wish I'd known before my baby arrived.
I have space for 1 newborn antenatal/postnatal client currently. There will be a group running in the next few months.
🌿 Group
Covid Conscious Resilience Toolkit Sessions
I run sessions within a framework called The Resilience Toolkit. I am going to be running a group programme, specifically for families that are 'still covid-ing' / are covid conscious. This is starting on 18th March, running weekly on Wednesdays for 3 weeks. You can learn more and book here.
🌿 Sleep Biology Basics - In case you missed it!
You should have received this when you signed up, but in case you didn't or if you've lost it / need access again - you can access the FREE Sleep Biology Basics Resource HERE
🌿 Tender Support For You
You can check out the different ways that I offer support for individuals (both parents / caregivers and not) in Tender Being with Harriet.
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Thank you so much for being here.
🌱 It's an honour to support you and your tender little beings 🌱
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Have any questions?
You can reply directly to this email or use the button below
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