My tutor posed a question for us in my last class.

She asked us to check in with ourselves, and find a word with the prefix 're-' that described how we were feeling, or how our time off for Easter had been.

I love reflection prompts like this. Something about providing a prompt for reflection that also gives me a framework to try to work within tends to bring out things I wasn't fully aware of.

There's also an interesting quote from Carl Rogers:

[The client] wants just the precise word which for him describes the feeling he has experienced. An approximation will not do. And this so certainly for clearer communication within himself, since any one of several words would convey the meaning equally well to another.

The act of finding the word that makes the most sense to you is important, even if people around you get the meaning without that preciseness. This, I think, is one of the things that make it hard to talk deeply about our feelings. Alongside everything else is how difficult it is to find the words to fully describe it. Sometimes it's a fear of not saying the right thing, but sometimes it's a lack of inner clarity. Without that clarity, we feel unsure about sharing. How can we share if we can't make sense of it ourselves?

Counselling can be an exercise in finding out what we clarity looks like for us, then moving towards it. I cannot tell you the number of counselling sessions I've had as a client where I went in with one idea of what I wanted to talk about, but instead, I ended up somewhere else. The first thing was a tablecloth, hiding the deeper issue.

Part of this clarity is an instinct as to when you need to talk about something. Sometimes a small thing is a small thing, the pipe is just a pipe. Sometimes it's a moment of realisation that the small thing is triggering something else entirely, and that connection and describing that is the clarity you need. In the next few weeks I'm going to write about conflicting patterns and being stuck between them, because this is an example of me needing clarity and finding it.

Back to the exercise.

I chose re-commitment, possibly unsurprising given that's my word for 2026. April has been an odd month. I've flagged a bit doing the work, felt overwhelmed, and broke my book buying ban. It's been a lot, and I'm still not entirely sure why. There's some self-sabotage there as well, a dragging of my heels on getting things done. I'm slowly coming back to myself after this wobble, though it's left me feeling like the dust is settling, and I'm looking around wondering what just happened. While I was in it, I was still getting stuff done, just not with my normal intention and reflection.

I've made some changes to my routine to bring that sense of reflection and intentional use of my time.

I'm still not sure if I'll be graduating this year, and managing that uncertainty is something I'm learning to live with. It's anxiety inducing for sure, but I'm learning to manage it, and I'll should have a final decision soon, based on what my workload looks like.

I'm re-committing to myself. Spending time doing work, asking for help early and often, being open about my difficulties with my peers and tutors, and generally trying to be human in a way that my stress and anxiety patterns absolutely do not want me to do.

This re-commitment feels right, and precisely what I need. We often forget to go back and check that we're still looking after ourselves in the way we need. I was doing well, and I forgot to check in with myself as often and as deeply as I do when I'm actively working on my mental health. This is the lesson I'm taking from these past few weeks. Commitment is a regular choice, not one and done,

If you had to pick a re- word to describe yourself right now, what would it be?