September's SCB community theme: gratitude
I've started monthly themes and challenges over on the SCB discord. I wanted to provide an optional framework for people to work with if they want, and it gives me something to be consistent around as well.
I wanted the first one to be something on the lighter side, but still can be challenging. Something that most people find useful and can work on.
So for September our theme is: Gratitude.
I go through periods of gratitude journaling. I tend to do it daily in the evening for 4-6 months at a time, then the practice falls off a bit, then I pick it up again. I like the cycle. I think gratitude journaling helps when I'm finding it hard to practice gratitude in general, the practice offering the routine I need to notice the small things in my life. Sometimes it feels unnecessary, so I stop. I've learned to listen to myself when it comes to this.
I'm so used to not wanting to engage with things being a sign that my mental health is suffering that I would force myself to keep doing things, sure that eventually they'd pull me out of whatever slump I was in. Sometimes that's absolutely the right move, other times it's not a slump, I just needed something else.
This is the way my gratitude journaling practice works.
I think I'm at a place in my mental health where I don't need that framework all the time, I can pick it up and put it down. When I first started, I recorded one thing I was grateful for every day for years. Some days I even went back and filled in a previous day's entry, just for completeness.
I found it interesting that I could remember things to be grateful for, even a couple of days after. It never felt like making it up just to get all my days in. It was space to check in over a set of days - had I been busy, ill, or just not feeling it?
The goal of practicing gratitude is not to remind yourself why you shouldn't feel bad, or to guilt you into feeling better.
It's more of a way to reconnect with yourself. Remind yourself what's good in your life, and allow it to linger for a moment. This is especially helpful when you internal monologue is one of absolutes 'it'll never get better', 'I'll always be a failure', 'I'm a terrible person' etc.
Sometimes its a reminder that you can make joy in your life. You can be grateful for something you've done, or something past you did that present you is now enjoying. Getting used to being grateful for yourself can be powerful. Learning to give yourself kudos for the things you do for yourself rather than what you do for others is also powerful. We're not used to it, so this is a nice way to ease into it.
You can also share your gratitude, saying thank you to someone for doing something to you, or being in your life.
Finally it can become habitual. Noticing something joyful or nice (A glimmer, if you will), can give you a small boost in the middle of the day. You can be on the look out for small joys without the pressure of them being A Big Thing (For more on choosing joy without the pressure, see:)
It's not always easy. There are times when it feels more like scraping the bottom of a barrel - you've had a terrible day and the best you can come up with is you're grateful you have a netflix account. It'll feel pathetic, or like you're trying to gaslight yourself into feeling positive. That's fine, it is sometimes like that, and there's power in labelling things as bad. You don't have to be grateful every single day if that doesn't work for you.
But other times you'll find it easier, your day will be full of small things you're grateful for. Acknowledging those and basking in that small pot of warmth can be just what you need, even if it's for a few minutes.
Want to join the discord community? Sign up to substack and you'll get a link to the community in your welcome email (if you missed it, just drop me a line gem@gemhill.co.uk and I'll send you a new link).