Self care in crisis
It’s hard sometimes.
I see the genocide in Palaestine, Congo, Sudan. I see the cost of living crisis, the rise of facism, the transphobia everywhere. And that’s not even everything.
I see all of these things and I wonder how I can sit here and write about self care, when self care in these circumstances feels like emptying the ocean with a teaspoon. You can’t self care your way out of a terrible situation, you can’t resilience your way out of white supremacy/capitalism/patriarchy.
But self care is radical. Audre Lorde said:
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” - A Burst of Light
And that’s what I want to get across today. Self care is political. Spending time with yourself for you (not for capitalism) is radical. So often when we’re mean to ourselves we’re repeating the words of capitalism, white supremacy, the patriarchy. We think about productivity, or what we should be doing. What our bodies should look like or be able to do. Even if you’re aware of these patterns, there’s still shoulds there: I should be helping more. I should be stronger.
This way lies burnout.
Self care as a way to spend time with yourself, or your community for the sake of it, or for joy, or for connection is important. It’s vital.
Not because you can’t pour from an empty cup, or because you have to put your own oxygen mask on first, but because you are human and that’s your right. The systems that we fight against don’t want us to like ourselves, because that way lies self-respect, and finding community, and action. Spending less time hating ourselves means more time and energy for other things.
Toni Morrison said: “The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being.” From a keynote address in 1975
This is what I mean. The same applies for other forms of hatred or bigotry. They want you to spend time tying yourself in knots. For people who are allies, they want you to be too exhausted for action. They want to grind you down until you feel everything is futile.
This is why self care is important. It’s not turning away, it’s resting. It’s rebuilding yourself so you can continue the fight. It’s making sure your existence as a politicised person (which we all are), is fulfilling and joyful, and personal, so you don’t get lost inside it all.
So I’m going to continue to talk about self care, resilience, and joy. I’m going to continue to talk about finding glimmers, gratitude, and small moments of stillness, because these are all parts of learning to love yourself, and in a world that wants me to never be happy with who I am, that is a radical act.