Rest as restorative
I’ve put a miro template together for this activity. If you want to give it a go for yourself you can see it here: https://miro.com/miroverse/rest-activity-template/
Thank you so much for your readership and support, I appreciate you more than I can say <3
I’ve been doomscrolling a lot recently. Doomscrolling and playing Stardew Valley.
The line between distraction and dissociation is so thin for me. There’s nothing wrong with distraction at times, sometimes it’s the only way to get your brain to shut up. The problem is when it becomes the default response, and then you start dissociating from everything. It’s not restful, you’re mostly in standby mode. There’s no connection to yourself, so you can’t feel rested, it’s just a way of losing time.
Then, if you’re me, you feel bad for wasting time, when you could’ve done anything else with it. Will I regret all the time spent on tiktok? Maybe. I regret it in the moment, sometimes.
I’ve been reframing my idea of resting as restorative. It’s not just collapsing on the couch until it’s time for bed. It’s an active process of looking after yourself, mind, body, and soul.
Physical rest is really important. Being somewhere comfortable and letting yourself rest is important. I think a lot of people move to doomscrolling or tv or similar because sitting and being is really difficult, so we need to distract our mind from the constant to do list and guilt about not being productive. For me the struggle is finding something a bit more healthy for my mind to do when I need to rest.
So, what does rest mean to me?
As always, the first thing I did was to find some research. Most of the research has been done around sleep, specifically. I wanted to think about rest in general, rather than sleep for this piece.
I found this write up of The Rest Test: Preliminary Findings from a Large-Scale International Survey on Rest.
This survey asked people to associate words with rest, and gave space for people to put their own thoughts on the word rest.
They then asked people to choose activities they found restful from a list of 25. This table shows them ranked from most to least popular.
Using these words as a base, I think rest for me is restorative, quiet, sometimes difficult, still, and freeing.
When it comes to activities, I think being in nature, reading, playing games (video and board), and crafting are what I think of mostly.
The words I associate with rest all make sense to me. My mind can be loud and fast, so craving quiet still times, both internally and externally really tracks with my day to day life. Remembering to be present and enjoying those moments is something I have to practice and remind myself to do. Most of the activites on the list are ones that occupy my mind a little, allowing it to focus and quiet.
I’ve spoken about finding stillness, and how this can be found in small and surprising ways. I think about how making a latte for my partner can be mindful, and brings me joy. The same for making a cup of tea. It’s a small act of kindness that can be meditative. Tasks that don’t take too much mental effort like chores can allow you to mentally take a break while you’re doing something physically. I like to listen to audiobooks or let my mind wander while doing things like this.
Making breaks more deliberate is also a good practice to get into. There are definitely times where I get into the self-employed ‘I must work as much as possible’ spiral, but because I’m tired, I don’t work effectively, which makes the spiral worse. Having a check-in moment between tasks and seeing if I need to go for a walk, step away from the screen, go get a drink or something helps in keeping myself actually productive, rather than just tiring myself out doing nothing useful at all.
Having time to myself is pretty vital for me. I have to have a bit of time to myself most days otherwise I start to go spare. My partner is a night owl to my early bird, which means I get some time in the morning to myself, which I really enjoy. This is a holdover from growing up in a very full house (there were 6 of us in total), so having time to myself was a rare treat.
As always, this comes back to getting to know yourself, and then using that knowledge to work with yourself to give you what you need. Rest is a weird one, as it comes in different forms, and sometimes needs change as health, energy, and time levels change. I think I’ll try to do the rest reflection, picking words and activities again in the future, and see what’s changed and what’s stayed the same.
Rest is a perennial topic for my clients or people who talk to me in general. Thinking about rest as restorative, to restore you in all ways, is a way of thinking about the different restful and restorative activities you can do.