Reflection on therapy training
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As of writing, I’m roughly at the midpoint of my summer break. Therapy training starts up again in September, so it seems like a good time to take a moment to reflect on where I am now in my training, and where I will be.
I’ve done two years of training, and now class as a trainee therapist (during my first year, I was a ‘helper’).
Two qualifications down, two more to go: this two year course will allow me to work as a therapist in an agency setting, the course after that will let me set up my own practice, which is the overall goal.
This post is collecting my thoughts as I move into this new course.
Empathy
I’ve learned so much about empathy. Not only what it means to me but how powerful it can be. I am always honoured when people choose to share really personal and intense things on the trust that I will be with them non-judgmentally. I’ve seen people make realisations, or share things that they’ve never told anyone else. Through my volunteering at Shout I’ve sat with people who are in crisis, reaching out, hoping to find someone to talk to. It takes so much to reach out for help, and the fact that I’m in a position to be reached out to will always be humbling.
Accurate empathy, with others and yourself is vital to the therapeutic process, and I’ve come so far in my empathetic practice.
I’m processing sitting with ambiguity.
It’s hard to sit with ambiguity. This goes against my nature and my upbringing. I find not knowing things and planning things difficult. This is something I’ve had to get used to in general, but especially since being self employed. I have to be okay with not knowing what’s going to happen and make sure I plan but also have flexibility as needed.
The therapy process is also really ambiguous, especially the therapy I’m training in. There’s no goal or path, it’s a process that can go anywhere. There’s also no ‘this session worked’ marker. You might have a good, productive session. You might have a good, not productive session, and you might not have a good session at all (for whatever ‘good’ means). It’s in the hands of the client, and my job is to be there with them.
This is difficult! There’s no way to ‘pass’ at being a therapist for every person, or every session. Especially for people who are just starting their therapy journey (I think I’ve got ‘better’ at being in therapy as I’ve progressed in my journey). You just have to sit with them, be with them, and give them space to work with.
I’m slightly anxious about this course, as I’ll have to have a placement and do 100 client hours, which means I’ll be out in the field, doing actual therapy work. I’m also incredibly excited, and looking forward to getting some real world experience, but I’m also so aware that this will be people who are looking for help and support and I’ll be the person they’re coming to for that support. Absolutely humbling and slightly unbelievable.
I absolutely have some nerves about being in sessions without my tutor or classmates, but I think that’s normal, and I’m reminding myself of all the ways I’m good at being in session (at the end of my last course my tutor told me I have potential! So exciting).
I still have a way to go with this, it’s about grounding myself, finding my empathetic root to go back to and know that if all else fails, come back to empathy. If I can do this in class sessions, being watched by ~10 other people, all giving me feedback, I can do this in placement. That’s the reminder.
It’s gotten easier, and will continue to get easier with time.
Self-employment
This work aligning with me being almost 2 years into my self-employment journey also feels like an interesting challenge.
I’m about 18 months into my self-employment, and I still feel new and unsure about everything. Add this to requirements of my new course, and I’m aware I’m going to be feeling quite uncertain in the coming year or so.
I’m not good at feeling insecure, I crave certainty in at least one area of my life at any given time. This means I need to manage my anxiety well, otherwise I’ll respond in unhelpful ways which will lead to more anxiety and shame and form a terrible cycle.
This is something I can see coming though, and so I can keep an eye on things. I know that keeping up with my writing and the podcast will give me things I like doing and am good at, which gives me that safe place to work within.
Then it’s keeping up with my self care, and monitoring my warning signs. Reminding myself to ground both pre-emptively and reactively and give myself space to work through feelings and decompress afterwards.
The one thing I’m going to remember is to always come back to the core concepts of person-centred counselling: empathy, unconditional positive regard, congruence.
So I’m feeling on a precipice of going from ‘someone in therapy training’ to ‘trainee therapist who can see people (in a placement)’, and then in 2 short years ‘a therapist’. It feels like a massive leap into the unknown, but I’m confident in my abilities to make it, I’ll just be a lil anxious along the way.
This is a free post, so feel free to forward or share it to folks who might find it useful.
This newsletter is entirely reader-supported. You can upgrade to a paid subscription to support my work (and unlock paid posts!) from £5 a month