Planning as avoidance
Programming note: I’m moving the publish date of the newsletter back from Wednesdays to Thursdays. While I try to write newsletters in advance, Wednesdays aren’t feasible with my placement. So, hopefully all newsletters will be published on Thursdays (UK) from now on.
I am a planner. I love to make a plan (sometimes that plan even gets executed!)
It’s a pattern, and you might be thinking that that’s great, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I often use it as a distration, or a way to avoid sitting with uncomfortable feelings.
I was talking to my therapist recently about how my fatigue hasn’t improved that much since my operation. I was hoping that my thyroid would settle and my fatigue would lift, and while the former has happened, the latter has not. While I can go back to my doctor there is a strong possibility that my test results will be normal and I’ll be told that I just kindof have to deal with it.
As someone who used to be really really busy, it’s a difficult place to be, sitting with the idea that this might be my new normal, and having to work around it. It’s a scary thought to be honest, especially as I move closer to being a qualified counsellor.
I talked through this a bit with my counsellor, sat with my feelings, had a cry…and then went into planning mode.