Just because you triggered a feeling, doesn’t mean you’re resonsible for it

This turned into a piece on boundaries and closure. TW for talk of estrangement from family

I saw a tiktok yesterday, which has since been taken down. It was of someone saying their older sister had left the home and cut contact 5-6 years ago. The tiktoker talked about how she’d reached out to her older sister multiple times, and still did to this day, despite her sister consistently blocking her.

There’s more there, obviously, but this led me to think about how we manage feelings. I was with a client last year and I reminded them that just because them setting boundaries triggers a feeling in someone else, it doesn’t make them responsible for that feeling.