Ideal vs actual self
Last week I wrote about my playing with manifestation.
I made a to-do list based on ‘where I wanted to be in a week’s time’ and then I sat down and figured out how to make that happen.
I was successful! I made all my goals happen, which is amazing. I decided to do the same thing this week, but this week, I got to see when my ideal vs actual self collide.
I had plans to mostly write.
You’ll notice this newsletter is late, which is rare for me. I’m normally ahead of myself, scheduling newsletters in advance, but I’d run the scheduled posts dry and planned to get back ahead this week. However, I woke up on Tuesday with a migraine. This wiped out a couple of days, which meant I was behind.
So what do I do when I can’t carry out my to-do list, for whatever reason?
I review, adapt, and move on.
So, I definitely need to write this newsletter, and attend the calls I have towards the end of the week. I have homework for my course.
I planned to get ahead on writing and homework, but I’m not going to push myself if I can’t. Focusing on what I need to do first, then what makes the most sense to prioritise.
On top of this is the day to day things like housework and looking after myself etc. This sometimes can feel like a full time job, especially if you’re disabled or chronically ill.
Managing meds, cooking, cleaning all take time and effort. Just keeping all those things in your head can be an issue, never mind actually doing it.
Here’s how I’m managing this week.
First priority is getting what I have committed to either done or cancelled. Writing this newsletter, my calls that I’m up to doing, my therapy homework. Then it’s the basics: take my meds, brush my teeth, eat. Part of this is me making my life easier in advance - I have things that are fast to prep or cook in all the time, so it’s easy. I live with my partner, so I have support (especially in keeping me supplied with tea).
Then I go from there.
I’m out on Saturday, so I want to be well enough for that. I would like to change my bedsheets, but that’s probably gonna be pushed back to next week.
I’m going to try to get ahead on the newsletters because I know that will take some pressure on the coming weeks, and also it’s been a while since I’ve really written, and I’ve missed it. I want to dedicate some time to getting some words out and down because that makes me feel better.
On that note: what does self care look like this week?
Walking outside is out while I’ve got a migraine, which is annoying given how important it is to my self care. I need to make sure I’m doing something that will take that place.
Generally, reading or crafting are good shouts, because it means engaging creatively rather than gaming or scrolling online. Even lying in bed and listening to an audiobook can be helpful in engaging in a better way for me. Reminding myself that this is productive. Looking after myself when the early signs of a migraine show means I’m less likely to take longer time to recover, and have a worse time of it.
So, will I get everything done and achieve my aspirations this week? Nope. Will I manage this week in a caring, kind way to myself, and both manage to look after myself and get some productive things done? Probably! Will I try again next week? Absolutely.
You can't always be your ideal self, otherwise it would just be your self. This is about making sustainable improvements, iterating and changing tactics as needed.
This experiment is proving fruitful, and this is a good way to see how this method works when I can’t meet all the goals I set for myself.
Thanks for reading, and supporting me. This post is free to read, so please share with anyone you think would find it useful <3