Find your glimmers
Have you heard of glimmers?
It’s a relatively new term was coined by Deb Dana, in her 2018 book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They’re small, micro-moments of joy that are all around us, and can have an affect on our feelings and wellbeing.
I love this concept for multiple reasons:
It’s a good way of thinking about triggers outside of the big ‘obvious’ ones. So often triggers are more than a graphic portrayal of something traumatising, they’re small things. A word, a scent, a specific situation. Things that wouldn’t be seen as triggering for most people. They are often small things that can lead to a big response. We can think this way about joy as well.
Looking for and accepting joy is good practice. If you find joy difficult, practicing acknowledging and accepting it is good to do.
We forget sometimes that we can make joy happen in our lives. We can make glimmers happen and grab them with both hands, embracing the warmth and basking for a bit, like basking in a slight breeze on a warm day.
Things that are glimmers for me, right now as I write this:
- The cup of tea I have.
- The stunning cluster of pink amethyst I have on my desk, which I love to run my fingers over while thinking.
- The little handwritten note from my partner, telling me I’m awesome, that I stuck to my wall above my monitor, as a reminder.
Glimmers can remind us that joy can co-exist with pain, anxiety, depression. It’s not and all or nothing. This can help with self talk, which often deals in absolutes.
Looking for, and acknowledging things that bring us joy whenever we can can help us learn to accept joy as it comes, not place any expectations on it, and let it pass through us. It can warm us, and give us a little boost. You can be grateful for it, hold on to the memories, maybe even make plans to make it happen again in the future. But it doesn’t need to be clung to forever, just like it doesn’t need to be feared.
You also don’t need to earn joy. It’s not a reward for working hard or being a good person. It’s a thing that you deserve, regardless.
What are your glimmers today?