[Seth Says] You'll Just Have To Wait

"...you can't hurry love, no, you'll just have to wait,
That is, unless she tells you, 'Hurry up, or we'll be late.'"
 

Yeah, that doesn't work, we're not using that again. (The people responsible for these credits have been sacked.) But hi! I'm gonna do the thing that's a bit annoying, for which I apologize a little, but also I think we all do it sometimes. And that thing is being amidst the thing and already focusing on the next thing instead of thinking about the thing you're amidst.

Dontcha just hate that?
 

So, for example, have you ever been at a party, and instead of just soaking in the party and enjoying it, you're already thinking about the next party? That's just an example intended to be relatable for you, I don't even go to one party, let alone two in a row. The more common example for me is sitting down to dinner and immediately planning out tomorrow's dinner.

Like sure, ravioli tomorrow sounds great, you know it's gonna be great because the bags look really fancy. (The people responsible for these sacks have been credited.) But instead of focusing on tomorrow's dinner, can we appreciate the delicious salmon that we just spent time and effort cooking and are currently eating? You're going to wolf down this food without paying it any attention because you're already focused on tomorrow's meal? Super rude! (Yeah, you tell me, me!)

Anyway, I'm about to do that in a bit.
 

But first, let me share the relative joy of feeling fine, having spent a few previous hours feeling unwell, thanks to the hours before that having been spent in the car on the way home from a picnic with my family. The picnic itself was lovely, tasty food, and the company was like family to me.

But (and I should probably get an ashtray if I'm going to keep dropping buts at the beginning of every paragraph) the car ride was very not my favorite, since I tend to feel carsick easily, and it's been a while since I had to endure a car ride of over an hour. Which I realize sounds like a princess complaining about a pea seven mattresses down, but a) she probably would complain if that pea made her feel carsick, and b) I think clearly the takeaway here is not that I am frail of constitution, but that I have the stock of royalty! (Not to brag, but I have been called a "royal PITA".)(I realize that comment is a bit out of pocket.)

Anyway, I no longer feelafel (and sorry if these puns make you hummusidal), so now that I'm feeling better I thought I'd write this newsletter. And the main thing the newsletter carries is...
 

Why, it's my column, of course! I hope you might find the time to spend a few pleasant minutes reading it, and indeed, this week's column is about trying to find the right time and place to enjoy reading something:
 

So, as always, I wrote it to be entertaining and I hope you might enjoy reading it.

But if I'm being honest (and I generally am, to my detriment), the column I'm really excited about right now is the one that I haven't submitted yet. And yes, now I'm doing the thing, direct your mild opprobrium at me as a fair response. (The people crediting these responses have... never mind.) But I had a great and terrible idea for a column, and I wrote it up, and I asked my partner, "Am I allowed to do this as a column?", and she read the column, and was laughing a lot by the end.

Which is pretty high praise, given that she hears my jokes all the time and usually reads my columns before I submit them. So I'm gruntled about that. Then I have to hope the newspaper will print it, because it is an especially ridiculous thing. But presuming it sees print, I am excited to share it at some future point, and even hope I won't be alone in feeling that way. But meanwhile, what I'm feeling is hungry.
 

Yes, when your food isn't ready yet, you're the waiter. And we're all waiting for future weeks, whether for most ridiculous columns, or upcoming vacations, or just really good ravioli. And it's nice to have something to look forward to; just don't forget to look down occasionally. Remember, they call it the present because it's tense. (Subverting cliches is a gift.)

Thanks for reading, and back in two weeks with another column.



Moose Bites Kan Be Pretti Nasti,
Seth