[Seth Says] Would You Settle For A Partial Idiot?

Hello Friends,

I hate doing my taxes. Partially this is because we shouldn't have to. But partially it's because sometimes they make me feel like a complete idiot.

Which I realize is untrue; I'm only a partial idiot. There are definitely days where I'm really dumb for a smart person, but while I can laugh off idiot maneuvers like my singing an entire song about the island nation of Peru, I find less to laugh about when dealing with taxes. Indeed, I find them taxing, and while I may be no Einstein, in addition to sharing Einstein's hairstyle philosophy, (I really wanted to make an "E=mc Naired" joke here, but his follicle fest was sort of the opposite of Nair. A Nair miss.) I share his belief that US Income Tax is difficult to understand. Just like...
 

And not just because it contains a lot of people and has very few safety measures, although the latter is actually pretty relevant. Because yes, even though mass shootings happen LITERALLY on a daily basis in this country, (using the literal original definition of literally, rather than the formerly figurative definition of literally to mean figuratively, which has now become a literal definition of literally, a fact about which I am still bitter, even though I accept that language must evolve and dictionaries should track rather than prescribe usage, but I maintain that evolving a word to mean its opposite is a mistake, and yes I'm familiar with the dozens of contranyms we already have and would cleave to them lest they cleave us apart, but I'm not here to offer an apology, or an apology, my point is that unlike most contranyms, the word "literally" does not generally make clear from context which meaning is being used, thus rendering the word completely useless for conveying information, although whenever I use it you can rest assured that I mean literally literally, unless I am quoting some whippersnapper given to flights of unrestrained colloquialism.)(For more on why I'd rather complain about language usage than mass shootings, see previous newsletter.) somehow today's school shooting (I should specify, Nashville 3/27/23) caught my attention.

I guess because I was thinking about satire, because you could imagine an Onion article where there's a mass shooting, and the members of Congress get together and say, "After a tragic event like this, we should really show support for what's important, maybe with little lapel pins," so they all show up in Congress the next day wearing lapel pins of AR-15s.

Although you'll never see that article in the Onion, because it is an actual thing that happened, and the pictures of GOP Congresscritters with AR-15 lapel pins were all over my Twitter feed today (speaking of clown cars), which is why today's mass shooting was on my mind. And sure, a bit of cursory research ("this fuckin' country") reveals that the AR-15 pins pictured were worn in February and not necessarily today. But as mentioned, every day in America is the day after a mass shooting. I'm not saying this country is completely screwed up. Just partially.
 

The good news is, my despair is also only partial! There are plenty of awful things in the world, no question, but also little good things like the little birds that sometimes show up outside my window, in spite of the fact that the rhododendron bush out there is more withered than thithered. (I'd have said more withered than zithered, but I don't want you to call me a lyre.)(Is similarity of form instrumental in making music puns? I hope this isn't a point people will harp on.) And we had tasty peanut noodles and tom kha soup tonight. (If at first you don't succeed, Thai, Thai again.) And while it may not vincit omnia, love is generally good for downgrading complete despair to only partial despair, so it's convenient for me that I have the good fortune (and good planning) to live with someone I'm in love with.

Having finally managed to read a few things on my social media that were actually from friends and not just bad news posts suggested by THE ALGORITHM, I've noticed that I am far from alone in these feelings of partial despair, as numerous friends of mine have shared their own struggles in reading a constant stream of horrible news while trying to maintain a modicum of hope and create a small bubble of peace within which to find joys, create happiness, practice kindness, and generally enjoy the parts of life that can be enjoyed, even (and especially) amidst a firehose of nonsense.

So if you, too, are feeling this struggle (and why wouldn't you be?), I hope that you can find a space to not be bombarded with bad news for a bit. Or failing that, at least get your bad news delivered alongside something that will occasionally make you smile, which is probably the best I can promise in this newsletter since I probably will keep mentioning the bad news. But not JUST the bad news. And meanwhilst, please remember to take joy in little things like tiny birds (viewing or eating) and walks in nature and good food (I guess also viewing or eating, although I find viewing and not eating food very unsatisfying) and people you care about who also care about you (this is a family friendly newsletter).

I'm not saying that's going to make everything completely better. But partially. Then again, I'm biased. You might say I'm
 

You may have noticed that the suBtle theme of this week's newsletter is completeness. I know that being called a "complete idiot" is an insult, but I recall seeing online some time ago that in the UK, any completed noun can sound like an insult. "The man is a complete lamppost." "You're a complete toaster." 

Which makes sense. Anyone who has gone the distance to be a complete anything has gone beyond the pale. As mentioned, lots of us (like me!) are partial idiots, but to be a complete idiot would really take something special. Is it something that a partial idiot like me might aspire to? Well, I am a bit partial to completionism. Indeed, that's the topic of this week's column, where I discuss completionism in general, and also Pokemon specifically:
 

Y'know, whenever people share My Comedy, whether it's columns or newsletters, it makes me E-lated. In other words... E=MC Shared.
 

I guess I've gone on for relatively long (in theory), especially since this issue technically mentioned two Weird Als (and no weird AIs! I'll rant about them later. and earlier.) So that's about all the news from Lake Woebetidecopyrightinfringers, where the women are women, and the men are empty overcoats. Thanks for reading, and back in two weeks with a completely new column.


Partially Yours,
Seth